I should seriously donate at this point. That's on me. Not an excuse, but San Diego does draw your resources... Seriously, what's a reasonable donation? I have no idea.

Some areas of San Diego are much more expensive than others. Carlsbad has parts that are less expensive and some that are more. Homes 10 miles inland will also be cheaper than right on the coast like Carlsbad. I chose to be inland--avoid being overcast all the time and more house for the money. And a 15 minute drive to the beach vs. 5 isn't an inconvenience.

I'm guessing a decent house with room for a couple kids in a nice school district and you're talking at least $500K for the house, if not $700K, $800K or more. Condos probably start at $200K and go up quickly to $300-$500K. You can do the math based on your down payment, current interest rates and your salary to figure out if you have enough leftover to live on. Then add to your house payment anywhere from 1/4 to 1% property tax and "Mello Roos" (tax bonds used to fund infrastructure), plus, quite often, homeowner association fees from $75-$150 a month, and it adds up. Electric and water are at least 25% higher here than Utah (ballparking it, could be more like 50% to 100% higher), but housing is the main cost of living difference. Food is about the same. Gas a little more (5%?). Sales tax is a couple percent higher but it doesn't apply to food. But I live closer to Rancho Bernardo / Poway, and the church is fantastic. Strong youth programs. And some areas closer to the $500K range than $800k (with our share of expensive homes, too).

Bottom line on cost--I'd say I'd have a hard time seeing how I'd make ends meet with 3 kids the way I'd want if I couldn't get at least $100K, if not $150K-$200K, and frankly even at $200K there'd still be sacrifices involved. I'm sure people do with much less but if you want a nicer area, your house payment may start forcing you to forego things like sports for kids, etc. The good news is jobs pay more, too. It's a great area. Don't be too scared by the cost. The tradeoff with weather is fantastic. If I were to comment on San Diego culture, we're not to the point of LA, but there's a consumerism vibe. Keeping up with the Joneses can also be expensive if you or kids fall into that trap.