Her family is heavily in the health-care industry (and First Responder industry) and they have seen enough situations like that in your post. She basically said that she was aware of my desire to be a donator, but wanted her/my family to make the decision in a tragedy, on their terms. Even if that means I might miss the window. There were too many stories of "enthusiastic" donation crews disturbingly getting right to business for her to comfortable with me signing my organs away.

Out of respect for her, I took it off my card.

We still aren't against it, but wanted some form of "check" to the types of situations you alluded too. Had she never known this side of the situation, we'd both have that "Y" on our licenses.