but there isn't always a pay off for doing it in sports. you can make an argument it builds character, etc and that might be true but it is hard to fault a kid for wanting to go elsewhere if he really can play at the other place and his chances to ever play at the place he currently is at aren't very good.

My son, who I know I talk about a lot on here, is a pretty good example of this. He's really good but he didn't get to play varsity much his first 3 years of HS. There was a sr QB his freshman year who was all state and we really didn't expect him to play over that kid but there was another kid one year older that we felt was not better than him. Now that kid was pretty good, got a scholarship to play at Weber st so he is obviously pretty good, but he wasn't better than my son and my son had to sit behind him for two years because the coaches made up their minds right from the start that the other kid would get to start his Jr and Sr years and then our son would get to start his Sr year after the other kid was graduated. No real competition for the spot, just that is how they were gonna do it. And that is how it went, he never got to play until his sr year.

It was very frustrating and I think in the end he both benefitted because of the adversity but it also cost him in terms of opportunities for scholarships. he wound up with multiple scholarship offers, most of them FCS level but a couple of FBS level (Hawaii and Appalachian St) and is committed to Hawaii, but we've had multiple coaches tell us that if he'd had two years of starting instead of only one that he would have offers from most of the top schools in the country but because he was an unknown from not having played until his sr year that didn't happen.

Now we're happy he got what he's gotten and are excited to watch him play at the University of Hawaii, but the point is that what benefitted his HS coaches the most, which was him staying at his HS and not transferring and giving them an great 2 year insurance policy if the other kid had gotten hurt plus then giving them one of the top QB's in the entire country for his Sr year, was not necessarily the best thing for him. Sure he learned some great lesson about patience and perseverance but he didn't get to have all of the experiences and opportunities he could have had if he'd gone elsewhere. In fact looking at it now he probably should have transferred after his freshman year when it was apparent the coaches weren't going to let him compete to start and were just trying to keep him around so that they could have that insurance policy as well as a quality starter his sr year. That was great for them, not so great for him and us.