Mixed emotions in our house today. We're obviously very happy for son #2. He worked hard and got in. After last year's disappointing news we've spent the past 12 months managing his and our expectations. We're proud of him and are excited for his future.

My heart goes out to those and their families who didn't get the news they were hoping for. It hurts. I've spent way too much time since last year trying to find out why son #1 didn't get in. We've received zero clarity on the subject from BYU admissions and other "inside" sources. We turned down interview requests from Utah newspapers who wanted to interview him regarding his story. He's done a much better job of putting it behind him than I have. Surprise, I'm still a bit salty. Objectively, on paper, son #1 was more "deserving" of getting accepted than son #2. Son #2 would tell you the same thing. But that's life. Sometimes there aren't any good answers. Sometimes there aren't any answers.

A few thoughts on our experience, having two derserving kids with one getting rejected and one getting in:

-I'm a firm believer that success in life is more about the individual than the academic institution. I believed that before son #1 didn't get in and believe it now more than ever.

-There are a lot of kind people on this board. So many of you reached out to me via boardmail to offer support and perspective. I've been a lurker on this board (fewer than 300 posts) for a decade and a half and complete strangers went out of their way to buoy us up. Thank you Cougarboard brothers!

-If you know someone who didn't get in who appears to be the ideal candidate don't assume they aren't telling you the whole story. My prideful self has bristled the past year as people have implied or flat out said that we aren't telling the whole story regarding son #1, that either his letters of recommendation were poor, that his essays were poor, that he must have received a "bad" ecclesiastical endorsement (can there be such a thing?!), that he wan't a good seminary student, that because he didn't get into BYU and decided to do a year of college before his mission (the horror!) that there must be a worthiness issue, that God has another plan for him or that he was meant to go somewhere else. Don't assume the worst. Realize that some extremely qualified kids are having their BYU dreams shattered today and there is no good answer as to why.

-We still have no idea why son #2 got in and son #1 didn't. We may never know why. I'm resigned to that. Life goes on. I do not believe that God owes me an answer in this matter nor in other, weightier, matters of life. The question why can eat you up. The better questions (for me at least) are what and how; what am I going to do now and how am I going to respond to life's challenges.

For those of you wondering about son #1, he's doing great. He opted for UVU and has thrived. He has met some wonderful people and is checking all of the pre-mission boxes we hoped he would. He started his mission applicaton last Sunday and hopes to have a call in the next couple of months. He is amazingly resilient and hasn't looked back. He's happy for and proud of his little brother for getting accepted to BYU and hopes to join him there after his misson. It would be fun for them to have a couple of years at BYU together once they're both back from their missions. It's even possible, if son #3 gets accepted, that all three brothers could be there for a year together. We'll see. We wish we had a clear idea of what it will take for him and his little sister to get in, but we really don't. We'll have them do their best and cross our fingers.