I've been there. Literally.

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Apr 20, 2019
8:37:42am

displacedute All-American

I've been there. Literally.

When my first wife died I got a good piece of advice: don't try to make someone new fill the hole in your heart your first wife left. Just make room in your heart for the new person.

Like having kids. You love them equally, but not for the same reasons or in the same ways.

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displacedute

Bio page: displacedute
Joined: May 30, 2005
Last login: Apr 27, 2024
Total posts: 10,948 (29 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

When women fall in love with you

Twin Roots

4/19/19 11:13pm

I'd give it a little time if you're still feeling dead inside.

soupie

4/19/19 11:15pm

Can't imagine what you're going through but I did help my sister through it and she described

soupie

4/19/19 11:18pm

Dang man, that has to be hard. I’m sorry.

4/19/19 11:16pm

I think only those who have been through what you have can give you the advice

777

4/19/19 11:16pm

I would assume this is painfully but absolutely true

gww687

4/20/19 6:03am

I think I'd have to get to the point where I actually want to date

braddahmike

4/19/19 11:19pm

If you’re not ready don’t force it. Don’t settle. It will just make stuff harder

chitchatfan

4/19/19 11:19pm

That sucks. Sounds like you need some hobbies and friends

cougarnerd

4/19/19 11:21pm

If she was that perfect, just take your time.

Blue Ghost

4/19/19 11:25pm

Take plenty of time to heal and then have realistic expectations.

spugeddy24

4/19/19 11:27pm

I had two friends who rushed into marriage after their respective wives passed.

Fallball

4/19/19 11:35pm

If you settle, and it goes south, you're worse off than

BYURider

4/19/19 11:37pm

I don't know that it's a binary choice.

whitey1980

4/19/19 11:46pm

Date and interact so that you don’t leave the death

Archaea

4/20/19 12:01am

We are cheering for you

The Chief

4/20/19 12:02am

It's important to not compare. Remember you're

IceBlue

4/20/19 12:09am

Agreed. It won’t be the same kind of partnership and that’s ok

KSwiss

4/20/19 12:18am

Great post and point

Whip

4/20/19 10:15am

My advice, try dating a widow. She'll feel your pain and loss.

4/20/19 12:25am

Great suggestion

Coug98

4/20/19 3:55am

I’ve been married for 37 years. My wife and I come from very different families. We didn’t really have that much...

Brisco

4/20/19 1:14am

Feel the same

gurt

4/20/19 4:45am

So sorry to hear.. any kids at home? My widow MIL dated fairly soon after with 2

cougfanz

4/20/19 5:03am

It’s ok to not worry about a companion, but...

Medute

4/20/19 7:45am

You re looking for a friend not ready for a wife

BYU Grounds

4/20/19 8:01am

Won't happen until you're ready, so just date until it happens.

4/20/19 8:20am

I've been there. Literally.

displacedute

4/20/19 8:37am

Wow I can't even imagine. All the best brother.

buckles

4/20/19 12:37pm

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