I was substitute coaching for a fifth grade boys team that both my twins played on (boy and girl). My daughter played better on ball defense than any kid in that dimpledell league. She would beat their ball handler to where he was going and turn him the other direction over and over just like you coach on ball defense. Of course then their kid would panic and throw a crazy desperation pass. After several possessions of this the coach had had enough and called a time out.

Mind you, this coach was about 5’7 and 230 with red face of rage. His team was made up of all kids from his football team. All fat, slow kids who I am sure wore x’s on their helmets.

Out of the time out we continued to play man defense and my daughter was once again on the ballhandler like paint when all of a sudden this massive kid runs full speed and blindsides my daughter like a crack block. She flies through the air and lands several feet away and starts crying. Whistle blows and obvious foul is called on the illegal screen.

Immediately that little troll coach jumps in the air completely amped screaming “That’s how you play the game, son! That’s how you do it!” Red faced with veins popping in his forehead and neck.

Of course I yelled at him and walked towards him. The refs stepped between and I scooped up my daughter and carried her to the bench. Lots of eye contact between me and the coach the rest of the game. Not happy eye contact. I wanted to deck him for coaching his player to play dirty and hurt my player (my daughter, which ticked me off more).

We crushed them by 20 or so. Then it was time for handshakes. This was going to be interesting and I was prepared for whichever direction this was going to go.

He shocked me. He said “I’m sorry coach. I was way out of line. I had surgery this week; I am on pain medication that caused me to act crazy.”

No hard feelings. I’m really grateful his drug exaggerated short man syndrome didn’t extend past the final horn. All is well that ends well.