Kindergarten in Seattle. One day we had some cookies for a snack, and after I'd eaten a few, the teacher referred to them as "coffee cookies."

I was immediately consumed with guilt, believing I had partaken of the devil's brew, and started bawling. According to my recollection (it was a long time ago), I was unable to explain to Mrs. Black what was wrong and would not stop crying.

The school must have called my parents because I remember my dad and Mrs. Black explaining to me together that they were called coffee cookies because people ate them with coffee, and there was no coffee in them. I was greatly relieved.

Good thing I had my glow-in-the-dark "Monsterzilla" model waiting at home to cheer me up.