1) Pee Wee Herman has been put in charge of the new contract negotiation with Nickelodeon
2) It will be discovered that USC knew player's Caddies were purchase by boosters.
3) Stanford will admit it has raped and pillaged White Pine Forests while sporting a Sequoia Semperverins as a Mascot
4) Oregon State will admit it was never about the furry big toothed dam building rodents.
5) Berkeley City has passed an ordinance making flag football the only legal way of playing the game, returning Cal to its level of play ten years ago.
6) UCLA will reveal that its Bruin is really a trans moose.
7) Arizona is going to reveal that it's actually really hot in Tucson and must remove the frigid in winter posters during recruiting visits.
8) ASU laments ever joining the PAC and will announce its joining BYU as a member of the new Sagebrush and Cougar-tail Conference (SCC)
9) Washington State will be exposed as a major source of apple chips.
10) University of Washington will come out and admit, its engineering students have not passed a math course in 11 years.
11) Colorado will admit, the football team inadvertently ate Ralphie last December but told it was tofu.
12) Utah's runn'n Utes will find out that their projected QB and starting Left Tackle are transmissions, both manual although the tackle was last seen practicing as a 10 speed automatic in an F350.
13) Former PAC12 commissioner Larry Scott will reveal he was under great pressure to exclude BYU from expansion consideration after the FBI discovered photos of him with underage Cougars (not the BYU kind) on location at Jeffery Epstein Caribbean paradise island... and Hillary Clinton was NOT invited.

This meme was brought to you by the "Sadly potentially true to some degree foundation"
🙂