I am sorry to hear about your graduate program's response. I am a professor at a university and oversee a graduate program. My response here is only my opinion, and I don't speak for my university (but my university is playing Virginia in football this weekend if that helps narrow it down). It frustrates me to see others be so unaccommodating.

My approach to accommodating significant student family issues is based, oddly enough, on how one of my professors at that "university up north" handled my situation when I was a graduate student. I got married mid-semester while taking his class. I went to talk to him about adjusting some deadlines to allow time for our marriage and honeymoon. He said "you only get married once, have a great time and let me know when you get back. We'll figure it out."

Life is so much bigger than school. We need to hold student to high standards and they will achieve them. But as educators we also need to accommodate significant off campus issues when possible.

All the best to you guys and hope things turn out well for your family. Graduate school will sort itself out in time.