It's the only day of the week I see him. I either work from home or work in another building the other 4 days of the week. It's important for me to come here to see him because I don't want him to feel like he's not part of my team. He doesn't have the skills of the rest of the guys on my team and doesn't seem interested or capable of developing skills so he's not included in most projects or discussions about projects or emergencies or whatever. He's left out a lot because he's worthless unless it comes to brainless tasks.

Anyway, he sits at his desk and crunches loudly on food all day long. Like most of the guys around here, he's fat. I wish fear of becoming more fat would be enough to get him to stop crunching on food all day long, but not everyone is wired like I am. Some people are happy to be obese.
Unfortunately, his loud eating habits drive me crazy. I can hardly get any work done. I'm a nice guy, but I sometimes hope to see him choke so that he'll at least slow down a little.

oh... he also licks his fingers with a loud slobbery sound. It's so disgusting. I know a lot of people lick fingers, but I think it's repulsive. If I eat something that dirties my fingers, I wash them with something other than my mouth. It's not so hard. My children have all done the same thing from the time they were about 2. It's easy.

He's sucking salt from his fingers right now. I should just say something, but I don't think I could do it without sounding rude.
"Hey Homer, you're a little loud. Will you please stop stuffing your face with corn nuts for a few minutes so I can concentrate long enough to form a complete sentence while I complain about your disgusting habits on CB? If you can't do it for me, please do it for your chair that's grimacing from the exertion of supporting your ever growing gut."



What's my point?

If you're a constant eater at work and you're loud enough for other people to hear you doing it, please try to take a break every once in a while or at least eat something softer. Your crunching is maddening to some of us. Your weight is your own business, but your noises affect all of us.