We have told our kids that we are not paying for their mission or their college. As my son was trying to decide whether or not to go, he told me that one of his main concerns was that he had been saving money since he was 14 and now he would go on a mission and it would all be gone. He told me he was trying to figure out what he was going to do when he got home just to keep him on his feet between coming home and going into college. He figured as soon as he found a job upon returning, he would be okay (almost made me cry - I didn't of course, but almost . . .).

So I let him in on the secret. When he comes off his mission, his money will still be there, because we will be paying for his mission. I also told him that while we weren't going to pay for college (he therefore worked hard in school and pulled stellar grades), we weren't about to let him fall flat on his face, and that we had a few other small amounts of money set aside for different points in his life.

We expect him to work hard, and if he is, we will pitch in and make up the difference. It was a really cool experience to see how grateful he was. We asked him to keep that on the down low as we are planning on doing that with all of our kids.

I don't know if this is the right way to do things or not, but a strong work ethic is highly valued by both my wife and me, so we are hoping this has helped to lay the groundwork.