She would go and do her shopping and cleaning one to two times a week for about 5 years. Her grandma’s mind started to go and she needed more help and they asked the children to step in and take turns visiting each day to help out. Some of them did and others didn’t try so hard. They finally asked if my wife and I would be willing to move into her house. We thought about it and despite not wanting to told them that we would if they just sold us the house at market price minus the cost of changes we would need to make. It needed about $100k of repair work and updating to be feasible for my family.

Those children that were active in visiting and taking care were more than willing to accept our proposal. Those that didn’t help were mad that we would try to get a low ball purchase on the property.

Needless to say we told them that we wouldn’t be moving in because didn’t make sense for our family and that they could have her move in with any of them.

I would just tell them that money was invested into the home and that Grandma needs to pay for food and upkeep if they don’t accept the ask then to come up with a plan to move her to an assisted living center. Once they see the price at those places they will be fine.