Their are definitely power hungry refs. My neighbor is a ref and he would confirm this as well. Most of them were wannabes that were never very good and now they want some sort of power over players and coaches. They are the ones that get all butt hurt when they get yelled at. Probably one of the reasons they weren't very good in sports.
I know refs that are doing it for the fun of it and want to be involved with youth sports. They like the money and work out. I find they make the better calls and can handle a little criticism from the fans and coaches.
I don't know if fans are any worse than they were 30 years ago at the high school level but below HS, yes its much worse. I think most of that is do to the competition has risen and people are paying more money due to club sports and social media. Paying a lot of money and looking for a high light has really entitled people for success and when it doesn't happen many point the finger somewhere else vs pointing the thumb.
Just my observation and conversations with other coaches and officials.