My brother and I were once paired with two older ladies. They were very nice but not very good. They had a cart, my brother and I were walking and waiting. After the third hole, the marshal (usual crusty 80 year old with no manners) tells me and my brother (won't say anything to the ladies) that we are 15 minutes behind and he will be watching us. Next hole is a par three and sure enough he is watching. My brother and I play ready, both hit onto the green with our tee shots, run up and make birdie or par -- I can't remember. We head to the next hole. The ladies were still hacking all over the place.

Marshall meets me at the tee box and says we are still behind and if we don't speed up he will advance us one hole. I said I'll take a rain check right now. I'm not going to be harassed because the guys in the pro shops paired us with these ladies with about a seven minute gap between groups. He said that wouldn't happen but he would kick me off the course if I didn't speed up. I won't repeat what I said in response to that, but the Marshall didn't come back. Made that round really fun.