first, i immobilize this riddlemancer. probably a quick rabbit punch to the throat followed by a head lock. army ranger style. none of the greco roman nonsense.

then, i pummel him in the kidneys with my fists until he tells me which door the money is behind.

he reveals it's in door 2 obviously. typical riddle nonsense.

i snap his neck. no witnesses.

i rummage through his pockets. his wallet is still warm. as i empty it of petty cash, i take a moment to ruminate on the transitory nature of life.

"carpy deim," i say, wiping a tear from my eye.

i light his corpse on fire.

now i tell the riddles.