scare me as a Father, wondering if there is some extreme anger issue. At 9 he should understand that he simply can't do that. As a Father, you have your daughter to protect, so laying into him also shows your daughter that you understand the seriousness of what happened. You have two sides here and it sucks. What a horrible night for you. Seriously. Good luck. You know your kids best,all of our suggestions are just that. CB is a great place to vent.