Other kids live too far away, don't help like needed but want too.

Example- My wife has taken care of her parents for 8+ years now. Dad needed Kidney and was on dialysis but unfortuantely never was able to make it happen. However we lived closest and when he needed help he called my wife, mom still worked. She would drop everything and go, I married into this, knowing this was what was happening. So it was not a problem for me, but my wife ended up frustrated with siblings who would be no help.

We ended up moving to the DFW area and in-laws moved with us, ended up living in the same house for about a year before her dad passes away. Now we have the mom, she has moved into a elderly apartment complex, probably saved my wife and her mom, and again we are left taking care of everything she needs.

My parents it has been my 2 sisters, one never married still lives at home and the other close by. When we lived close by, I did not do enough or offer enough help, that is on me. Now I am away and I still feel I don't do enough. My mom passed away, dad was able to care for her no problem, until she passed about 5 years ago.

Now my dad needs knee replaced, having surgery next week and myself and my brother from Vegas are going up there for a week each after surgery to stay and help as needed.

My sisters finally had to say something about the situation, the sad part was it wasn't until they were very frustrated about it.

My recommendation would be if you aren't involved in day to day stuff be very careful what your recommendation is as you aren't there and won't be there to help. If your wife's parents are involved or close then I would let them say something but again they need to be prepared to step up and help. Not just offer help, but help.

We have a ward member who had her mother-in-law living at their house, husband was gone a lot for work and had a calling in the church where we was also gone quite a bit. Mother-in-law was very frank with opinions and it ended up causing a lot of hurt feelings. Mother-in-law is not moving to AZ as wife has put her foot down with husband about it. They had been this way for more than 5 years.

My recommendation for everyone is to start to talk about this before this comes up, have a plan, don't leave it all to one kid, not fair and can end up causing a lot of hurt feelings in families that are normally very close.