I imagine the more you push against it, the stronger his desire to go will be.

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Mar 21, 2021
3:33:32pm

BYUtka Intervention Needed

I imagine the more you push against it, the stronger his desire to go will be.

I would have a real discussion with him about your concerns and honestly let him make his own choice, knowing he will probably choose something you wouldn't choose for him.

This isn't a lesson you can learn for him. You need to teach him correct principles and allow him to govern himself.

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BYUtka

Previous username: yutka
Bio page: BYUtka
Joined: Aug 18, 2007
Last login: Jun 7, 2024
Total posts: 62,739 (2,090 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

How would you handle this situation: 16 yr old son wants to go to HIVE Festival

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 3:27pm

Up to you man but I grew up listening to a lot of Rammstein and rob zombie type stuff and I’m just about the most mild

Slim

3/21/21 3:29pm

What about the kinds of people that he’ll be around and kinds of things that

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 3:31pm

You don’t trust his friend’s dad?

Slim

3/21/21 3:33pm

I don’t know him. The friend lives with his mom and the dad only sees him about

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 3:34pm

Tough call. I know my own teen is pretty chill and unlikely to make poor choices despite what the others around him are

Slim

3/21/21 3:36pm

Not even knowing the dad (the chaperone) almost seems like a deal-breaker to me.

garyfan

3/21/21 3:56pm

I agree with this. This is one of our issues with the situation.

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 3:58pm

Maybe come up with a compromise solution that he would enjoy (and that you and

garyfan

3/21/21 4:01pm

I’m giving about a 10% chance the ‘father chaperone’ is even going. Lol

kotacoug

3/21/21 4:17pm

This is the main reason I wouldn’t be down with it. I wouldn’t even have to...

Zastava

3/21/21 4:47pm

I think you should offer to go as chaperone

Powerbait DPM

3/21/21 5:43pm

I listened to 2Pac, Biggie, Westside Connection, Bone Thugs, etc. and grew out

delux_247

3/21/21 3:42pm

My mom didn’t want me going to a Yellowcard concert a week before I left for my mission but said I could go to

IceBlueCoug

3/21/21 3:31pm

Haha. Swing and a miss. Yellow card is super tame

Hoax

3/21/21 3:31pm

I took my brother to the warped tour and my parents freaked out when they learned the heated up Billy Idol’s corpse to

shimmy

3/21/21 3:37pm

Sounds like your mom just had good taste in music and wanted you to pick the

pink22

3/21/21 3:40pm

I’d be ok with it, especially if the other dad is going. It’s not like he doesn’t listen to the music already anyway.

3/21/21 3:32pm

Let him decide. you got to let them live with consequences. I remember the

homegrown

3/21/21 3:33pm

I imagine the more you push against it, the stronger his desire to go will be.

BYUtka

3/21/21 3:33pm

Volunteer to go too. Start listening to the music with him as well. Blast it in

Ojiisan

3/21/21 3:35pm

For real, he will hate that music in no time

Heath Squashwell

3/21/21 3:41pm

Does he like to do anything else? Maybe offer to go on a fishing trip at the

Chefcurry

3/21/21 3:36pm

I think you would like this movie..

GhostRider

3/22/21 1:58pm

Who benefits from you not letting him go? He’ll still like the music. You

Memmo

3/21/21 3:36pm

Hard to say, but your description of your son sounds exactly like a description

Byron McNertney

3/21/21 3:38pm

Growing up. All my rebellious friends had the strictest parents.

Powerbait DPM

3/21/21 5:46pm

Horrible atmosphere and environment with an adult you don't know. What could

Iman23

3/21/21 3:38pm

I don’t think it is worth the fight

Remigius

3/21/21 3:38pm

Show him the MormonAd with the cockroach in the sundae and ask him if he still

DieHarder

3/21/21 3:38pm

I think you volunteer to go with the crew. Yes you’ll hear some cringy stuff but

4mack

3/21/21 3:39pm

The tickets are $450...I just struggle to justify spending that much for

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 3:42pm

Seems like this is more about you than your son.

Memmo

3/21/21 3:44pm

I don’t think that’s true. I can see why you might think that, but I would

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 4:00pm

You wouldn’t be paying $450 for a ticket to a concert.

garyfan

3/21/21 4:09pm

Exactly right. I’d bite the bullet and spend the money to tag along.

klay

3/21/21 4:15pm

Terrible take in my opinion.

Bin01015

3/21/21 5:07pm

You are buying the ticket?

Backcountry

3/21/21 3:45pm

No, this is if I were to go with him.

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 4:00pm

Allowing him to go and purchasing the ticket are two separate issues

Remigius

3/21/21 3:55pm

He is probably exposed to worse language and conversations in the hallway at

slowhiteguy

3/21/21 3:41pm

They are exposed to that, but definitely not the same thing. Not at all.

OmahaThunderCoug

3/21/21 3:56pm

He hears worse things at school

Princepete

3/21/21 3:41pm

Let him go but make fun of him for his atrocious taste in music.

Backcountry

3/21/21 3:43pm

Thanks everyone. This is all really helpful and appreciated.

hedgiecoug

3/21/21 3:44pm

Tell him it's ok as long as Grandma goes with

mwcoug

3/21/21 3:44pm

It will just get more difficult as he gets older because he will make dumb

pink22

3/21/21 3:45pm

He'll be fine. My son actually asked if I would fly out with him and a buddy

ordinary tri guy

3/21/21 3:45pm

Well if he's already listening to that music, hearing it live isn't gonna change a lot.

Jimo Dashen

3/21/21 3:46pm

Let him make this bad decision himself. He will go and either realize he made a mistake or he will love it and it was

supertux

3/21/21 3:48pm

I'd be curious to find out more about why it's so important to him.

Eddie

3/21/21 3:48pm

"how much he connects to these artists, etc etc."

supertux

3/21/21 3:49pm

Connects how? On what level?

Eddie

3/21/21 3:52pm

I think at some point you have to let them make their own decisions and figure some stuff out on their own. I went to

Nuke

3/21/21 3:50pm

RE: I think at some point you have to let them make their own decisions and

Eddie

3/21/21 3:53pm

I guess me turning out fine is debatable, but I like to think I did.

Nuke

3/21/21 4:00pm

Sounds like a good experience for him to have as a teenager.

YNWA

3/21/21 3:53pm

Offer an alternative - one where you foot the bill for food/fun in your home.

3/21/21 3:55pm

LOL at "how much he connects to these artists" teenage nonsense

Gustav

3/21/21 3:56pm

Was just talking about this the other day. The way teenagers view music is

3/21/21 4:10pm

Agree... I used to think music was so insightful. I listen to lyrics now and

Cougphysio

3/21/21 8:27pm

I bought my son tickets yesterday for a 16th birthday.

Plato

3/21/21 3:56pm

My 17 year old daughter is going. Wish she wasn't, but we let her choose

ICBlue

3/21/21 3:59pm

time to play CougarBoard matchmaker!

mottman

3/21/21 4:10pm

Fighting over your kid's music is almost certainly unproductive.

ReyOso

3/21/21 4:01pm

I feel the same way about my kids liking country music.

3/21/21 4:05pm

Pretty confident the message in country is about 99% more positive than rap

ordinary tri guy

3/21/21 4:29pm

I absolutely agree. Which is why it’s too bad the music is just terrible.

3/21/21 4:52pm

Let him go, what parent likes what their kid listens to? I went to a lot of

3/21/21 4:06pm

Give him a WWJD bracelet and tell him it’s his choice.....

kotacoug

3/21/21 4:06pm

Get a ticket and go along with them

USMCdad

3/21/21 4:23pm

Our oldest son really fought going to church for several months. He was going to

Q-grr

3/21/21 8:02pm

That bishop sounds like the type who would want to be consulted on a vasectomy.

Ojiisan

3/21/21 8:10pm

Your days of control are over. You can teach him and share your thoughts,

sanitarium

3/22/21 8:19am

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