Otherwise this seems like quite the malfeasance - they run entertainment programs with heavy subsidies from taxpayers, and when the opportunity to diminish the bloodsucking, they forgo it for...academic pride?

Does anybody remember any academic pride (let alone research pride) at Utah before the PAC used it as an excuse to cut out BYU? Why would it be such a heavy pull to stay for less money and exposure now?

Simpler explanation: they see it makes little sense for the Big12 to add them. So they hedge with sour grapes - "Oh, our academic virtues preclude us from joining that truckstop conference anyway..."