This is why we ended up moving. I was happy in Utah, we had a couple of friends that we'd hang out with fairly often, but my wife just never felt like she belonged. To rub salt in her wounds, she worked from home so people that weren't very friendly would constantly ask her to babysit or do favors for them. She did A LOT of things for people in the hopes that they would get to know her better, but it never really got her anywhere. It really did boggle my mind the things that people would ask her to do. We moved and she's been far happier.

If you have extended family in the state that your wife could grow close to, then that would probably make things easier, so they could fill her social void as she tries to get to know people. I really do feel that it's much easier to make friends in Utah if you have kids. The people are nice, they just don't realize how closed off they are (and I can't really blame them, if both sets of parents lived close by and I had constant family activities, who would have time?). If they just make friends "naturally" (like your kids hang out) it'll come pretty easily. We really didn't have a way to tie ourselves in with other people, and so it was pretty miserable for my wife.