Yep. It's bad parenting to not do everything to help them be on their own.

Feb 13, 2019
9:18:51am

hooscoug Contributor

They have to know it's better for him in the long run to not live like that. Eventually they will be gone and he will fail.

It seems selfish on their part.

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hooscoug

Bio page: hooscoug
Joined: Jul 1, 2005
Last login: Jun 20, 2024
Total posts: 1,129 (6 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

<< Deleted >>

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:00am

You can be annoyed and say something, but it's his choice to ignore you. My

Vincent's Picks

2/13/19 9:04am

Are you bugged because he is taking part of your inheritance? If so tell

Baron

2/13/19 9:04am

We care because we feel he is not progressing and seems completely content.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:07am

Then you should stay quiet. Caring about the money is more reasonable to butt in about.

Baron

2/13/19 9:08am

Thanks for the perspective. And yeah the money is annoying but it's not the

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:12am

RE: We care because we feel he is not progressing and seems completely content.

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:13am

How can he live in their basement, steal their credit cards, not work full time and not be manipulating?

Real G Man

2/13/19 9:08am

I did not read that as he lacks permission to use it. If he is stealing then I would address that point.

Baron

2/13/19 9:10am

is he using credit card? or stealing?

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:10am

They kind of turn their head and let him swipe, but I've heard them complain

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:18am

And if it is about money, still be quiet. It's not your money.

kccougar

2/13/19 9:09am

I disagree. Better to say your piece and move on. If my kids thought I wasn’t being fair to them I’d want them to tell

Baron

2/13/19 9:12am

Sure, it's not our money. But do you plan on giving royal treatment to ONE

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:14am

My parents' money is not my money. They can do whatever they want with it. And if they feel like one of my siblings

kccougar

2/13/19 9:19am

Completely true. Let's shift from money, though. Do you disagree with the

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:23am

The reason I asked below if the arrangement was bothering your parents

kccougar

2/13/19 9:32am

i *might* feel that way if it were a sibling. probably not, but maybe.

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:22am

It bothers her more than it bothers me.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:24am

acknowledge that it bothers her w/o letting it bother you. you don't need that

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:26am

Fair enough! Yeah we don't lose sleep over it, but it is definitely a thing.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:29am

I disagree about the issue of discussing inheritance with your parents. However, I do agree if it is on the in-law side

Baron

2/13/19 9:36am

Parents can do WHATEVER they want with THEIR money. Inheritance should never be expected.

TheLoneCougar

2/13/19 9:40am

IMO it's your parents doing. Sound like empty-nesters that enjoy the company.

coug almighty

2/13/19 9:04am

That's on his parents. If that's what they want, then fine. But they can always tell him to move out and start

Adrielle

2/13/19 9:05am

Yet they don't do that and it is baffling to us haha. It seems so obvious...

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:09am

Are you parents bothered by the arrangement?

kccougar

2/13/19 9:10am

They each blame the other for allowing him to live there. When you get them

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:15am

It is a tough call for the parents. They aren't doing him any favors but at the

mudpupper

2/13/19 9:09am

For sure. If anything it has taught me that I want to take steps to HELP my kids

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:16am

Yep. It's bad parenting to not do everything to help them be on their own.

hooscoug

2/13/19 9:18am

This is how I feel.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:28am

I think it's fine to share those feelings with your parents.

hooscoug

2/13/19 9:35am

The only option I see is for you to work at getting him dates

Joe Banks

2/13/19 9:12am

Best comment yet haha. He seems to have a hard time getting along with girls.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:17am

My parenting style...

Adrielle

2/13/19 9:26am

My late wife's brother is exactly the same

Twin Roots

2/13/19 9:28am

Any mental health issues? ... that can really affect a person. Either way you

AFewThoughts

2/13/19 9:31am

Not your concern. Unless it somehow is impacting your relationship with him or

pink22

2/13/19 9:33am

“Honestly it's a cush life!” Actually that sounds horrible to me.

garyfan

2/13/19 9:40am

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Points taken. Deleting this thread soon.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:46am

This is the best. Plz do not delete.

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:49am

He is a BYU fan. Don't want this to get back to him in the 1% chance a friend

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 10:37am

I don't think it needs to be deleted. Its good for conversation.

Adrielle

2/13/19 9:52am

Maybe his brother is about to wake up and start reading the thread.

mokelembembe

2/13/19 9:55am

I have a cousin who lived with his parents into his 40s. I assumed he was

pink22

2/13/19 9:48am

My wife and I downsized last year. As part of that, my 26 yr old son moved out

Florwood

2/13/19 10:15am

We had a son like that. Hated working, thought life should take care of him.

LiveY'r

2/13/19 10:28am

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine losing a child.

Vincent's Picks

2/13/19 10:30am

Thanks for sharing that.

Cachanilla83

2/13/19 10:32am

I really appreciate your story. Thank you for sharing.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 10:38am

You cannot blame yourself. Suicide is an act that is 100% unpredictable and

vegasnative

2/13/19 10:54am

Sometimes no one really understands - as you said, the pain, that some of these young people

lightmann

2/13/19 12:25pm

In the words of a famous Disney movie, "Let it go."

coolblue

2/13/19 10:39am

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