My wife and I downsized last year. As part of that, my 26 yr old son moved out

Feb 13, 2019
10:15:49am

Florwood All-American

and bought a condo. He has mentioned since how adulting has brought new purpose and joy to his life.

He wasn't slouching around, he had a full time job, but being on his own has been great for him.

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Florwood

Bio page: Florwood
Joined: Mar 10, 2010
Last login: Jun 20, 2024
Total posts: 26,869 (74 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

<< Deleted >>

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:00am

You can be annoyed and say something, but it's his choice to ignore you. My

Vincent's Picks

2/13/19 9:04am

Are you bugged because he is taking part of your inheritance? If so tell

Baron

2/13/19 9:04am

We care because we feel he is not progressing and seems completely content.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:07am

Then you should stay quiet. Caring about the money is more reasonable to butt in about.

Baron

2/13/19 9:08am

Thanks for the perspective. And yeah the money is annoying but it's not the

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:12am

RE: We care because we feel he is not progressing and seems completely content.

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:13am

How can he live in their basement, steal their credit cards, not work full time and not be manipulating?

Real G Man

2/13/19 9:08am

I did not read that as he lacks permission to use it. If he is stealing then I would address that point.

Baron

2/13/19 9:10am

is he using credit card? or stealing?

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:10am

They kind of turn their head and let him swipe, but I've heard them complain

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:18am

And if it is about money, still be quiet. It's not your money.

kccougar

2/13/19 9:09am

I disagree. Better to say your piece and move on. If my kids thought I wasn’t being fair to them I’d want them to tell

Baron

2/13/19 9:12am

Sure, it's not our money. But do you plan on giving royal treatment to ONE

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:14am

My parents' money is not my money. They can do whatever they want with it. And if they feel like one of my siblings

kccougar

2/13/19 9:19am

Completely true. Let's shift from money, though. Do you disagree with the

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:23am

The reason I asked below if the arrangement was bothering your parents

kccougar

2/13/19 9:32am

i *might* feel that way if it were a sibling. probably not, but maybe.

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:22am

It bothers her more than it bothers me.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:24am

acknowledge that it bothers her w/o letting it bother you. you don't need that

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:26am

Fair enough! Yeah we don't lose sleep over it, but it is definitely a thing.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:29am

I disagree about the issue of discussing inheritance with your parents. However, I do agree if it is on the in-law side

Baron

2/13/19 9:36am

Parents can do WHATEVER they want with THEIR money. Inheritance should never be expected.

TheLoneCougar

2/13/19 9:40am

IMO it's your parents doing. Sound like empty-nesters that enjoy the company.

coug almighty

2/13/19 9:04am

That's on his parents. If that's what they want, then fine. But they can always tell him to move out and start

Adrielle

2/13/19 9:05am

Yet they don't do that and it is baffling to us haha. It seems so obvious...

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:09am

Are you parents bothered by the arrangement?

kccougar

2/13/19 9:10am

They each blame the other for allowing him to live there. When you get them

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:15am

It is a tough call for the parents. They aren't doing him any favors but at the

mudpupper

2/13/19 9:09am

For sure. If anything it has taught me that I want to take steps to HELP my kids

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:16am

Yep. It's bad parenting to not do everything to help them be on their own.

hooscoug

2/13/19 9:18am

This is how I feel.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:28am

I think it's fine to share those feelings with your parents.

hooscoug

2/13/19 9:35am

The only option I see is for you to work at getting him dates

Joe Banks

2/13/19 9:12am

Best comment yet haha. He seems to have a hard time getting along with girls.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:17am

My parenting style...

Adrielle

2/13/19 9:26am

My late wife's brother is exactly the same

Twin Roots

2/13/19 9:28am

Any mental health issues? ... that can really affect a person. Either way you

AFewThoughts

2/13/19 9:31am

Not your concern. Unless it somehow is impacting your relationship with him or

pink22

2/13/19 9:33am

“Honestly it's a cush life!” Actually that sounds horrible to me.

garyfan

2/13/19 9:40am

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Points taken. Deleting this thread soon.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 9:46am

This is the best. Plz do not delete.

Linescratcher

2/13/19 9:49am

He is a BYU fan. Don't want this to get back to him in the 1% chance a friend

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 10:37am

I don't think it needs to be deleted. Its good for conversation.

Adrielle

2/13/19 9:52am

Maybe his brother is about to wake up and start reading the thread.

mokelembembe

2/13/19 9:55am

I have a cousin who lived with his parents into his 40s. I assumed he was

pink22

2/13/19 9:48am

My wife and I downsized last year. As part of that, my 26 yr old son moved out

Florwood

2/13/19 10:15am

We had a son like that. Hated working, thought life should take care of him.

LiveY'r

2/13/19 10:28am

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine losing a child.

Vincent's Picks

2/13/19 10:30am

Thanks for sharing that.

Cachanilla83

2/13/19 10:32am

I really appreciate your story. Thank you for sharing.

DraperCoug22

2/13/19 10:38am

You cannot blame yourself. Suicide is an act that is 100% unpredictable and

vegasnative

2/13/19 10:54am

Sometimes no one really understands - as you said, the pain, that some of these young people

lightmann

2/13/19 12:25pm

In the words of a famous Disney movie, "Let it go."

coolblue

2/13/19 10:39am

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