was stringent as stringent could be with money. They rushed ASAP to pay the house off. They took every dime extra and put it into the house/savings. They never did things together as a family outside their home. They never went on vacations together or heck even went shopping together or to the movies. Like, a trip to McDonalds was a once-a-year splurge. My family growing up made way less money than her dad did, but we did everything together. Different priorities.

When I was dating my wife we were with my parents and my younger brothers and so we all decided to go on a little shopping trip together and then out to eat together. She turned to me in the car and said, "Wait, families actually do this together?" and it completely broke my heart. My wife missed out on so much because her dad was such a tightwad I honestly felt so bad for her and her siblings. It makes sense why her parents are divorced and her siblings have had a lot of issues in their lives. All in the name of "being frugal" and smart with your money. It took her a while to adjust to the way things should be, but she is grateful that I showed her that money/fun doesn't have to be so constricting.

We're a single income teacher family. Is the budget tight? Sure, but it isn't as bad as you would think. If I had more debt it would be another story, but right now the only debt I have is a reasonable mortgage. We take vacations every year. We drive decent cars. We live in a good house. I've maxed out my retirement 401k and Roth. And we still have money leftover to pretty much do whatever fun stuff we want. Yes I can't take exotic vacations every 3 weeks, but it is a great life with lots of time together (my favorite perk of being a teacher.) But I made it clear up front with my wife that we were going to go on fun vacations together, we were going to do things as a family, and we're also going to be financially responsible at the same time. We get emails and stuff from her dad basically calling us out (in the guise of stewardship... it drives me nuts) for being irresponsible with our money before doing this/that/etc. I look at him, almost 60 years old, and he is in such poor health now that he can't even enjoy life at that age that it made me realize that it is possible to be way too stringent with your money/means. Like my favorite book series says "Journey before Destination." What's the point in being so strict in everything if when you get to that point you don't even get the chance to use it?