To me that is extraordinarily cruel. I hope that doesn't happen.

When I was a kid, the word retarded was used in common description of many things. If me or my siblings used it to describe a special needs person, my mom probably would have beat us into next week. Of course, we called flip flops "thongs" back then too. The word also was talked about in music all of the time - perhaps that is why I am so insensitive to its use.

I have a good friend that has special needs kids. They got pissed off no matter what word was used to describe their condition - handicapped, disabled, special needs, anything. They weren't Down's kids, but I still don't know what is the proper word is to describe their condition. When my kids were in school a few years ago, they just called all of those kids, "the autistic kids" and the kids (downs, autistic and other conditions) were integrated into the classroom, but my guess is that term is probably also not OK.

My guess is it is an older person who grew up using that word, but it doesn't automatically mean they are being negative about your kid. They don't look at it as offensive just like people referring to the ______ refs, inferring there is some type of sexual or defecating activity going on the field, which we all know isn't the case.

I am not saying it is OK, just talking about another perspective. There are very few cases where I would call out a complete stranger. I think you did right in this case.