I think it’s appropriate to say something but don’t beat yourself up for not

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Oct 22, 2019
7:40:27am

D.T. Survivor Walk-on

I think it’s appropriate to say something but don’t beat yourself up for not

My family used that word a lot growing up. My aunt later had a baby with downs and emailed all the family members in a respectful way that it was offensive and many of us stopped using it (took some time to remove it from our vocabulary). It’s helpful to know it’s offensive to some.

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D.T. Survivor

Bio page: D.T. Survivor
Joined: Mar 30, 2017
Last login: May 1, 2024
Total posts: 10,223 (19 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

How should I have reacted?

Garn

10/21/19 10:51pm

That one of those times it’s perfectly acceptable to

The Dude Abides

10/21/19 11:00pm

I agree but add that he makes a point that the officials sucked

travelcoug

10/22/19 4:09am

That’s why I simply boo or yell “you suck ref”

idcougarfan

10/22/19 5:08am

I think the "suck" part of that term has nothing to do with suckling babies

Carnac

10/22/19 5:55am

One might argue that saying "the refs suck" could be even more offensive

Acorn

10/22/19 6:10am

This is a good reminder that words may mean something different

Carnac

10/22/19 7:19am

^this

rggee

10/22/19 7:23am

it is interesting. because even the word dumb is referring to a person with a

10/22/19 5:38pm

I think it's interesting the power people give to words, emphasis on give

rcbyufan

10/22/19 5:49pm

'Dumb' 'lame' 'stupid' etc

rggee

10/22/19 10:01pm

Reminds me of sitting at an away game at Airforce.

ditch

10/22/19 12:16pm

<< Deleted >>

Jizosh

10/22/19 8:16am

not sure it'll make a difference until they have a similar experience to yours

byujdmba

10/21/19 11:01pm

Great thought. It really is true that unless

Uncle Bluto

10/21/19 11:35pm

One can have empathy, without experience.

TheHop

10/22/19 8:15am

As a health care provided in a field that often works with those with

akmewg

10/21/19 11:43pm

<< Deleted >>

10/21/19 11:53pm

The above thoughts are far better than mine,

Betruewhiteandblue

10/22/19 12:10am

While not right, people have their free agency. It wasn't directed at you or...

Big McLargeHuge

10/22/19 12:45am

I tell my kids all the time no matter what you are people will mock you and

Osteotome

10/22/19 1:22am

I just quietly remind them that what they said wasn't appropriate, and suggest

Nogi-oshi

10/22/19 4:45am

He who is offended when no offense is intended is a fool.

lilpenny

10/22/19 5:43am

Reminds me of the Spencer W. Kimball story about the orderly.

game.blouses

10/22/19 6:41am

If President Kimball was under anesthesia, how did he even hear the orderly?

UberDeek

10/23/19 12:13am

He shouldn’t be mad but I don’t see any reason for him to not say, “I don’t like

puntersarepeople

10/22/19 7:23am

There is much much worse yelled at a football venue. Just let it go.

rggee

10/22/19 7:25am

That’s what I would do

puntersarepeople

10/22/19 7:26am

That doesn’t make sense to me. Offense was intended.

Cougar Jazz Fan

10/22/19 9:30am

But not meant to offend the OP’s daughter.

lilpenny

10/23/19 4:43am

That still doesn’t make sense to me. The term was used with the intent to offend

Cougar Jazz Fan

10/23/19 11:51pm

It wasn't a term of endearment towrd the ref.

Archaea

10/23/19 4:17pm

That's not accurate. There are words that are offensive and shouldn't be used

palangi

10/22/19 9:36am

what an ignorant comment.

Goliath

10/22/19 9:38am

Because it's extremely offensive and can be damaging to the most vulnerable

Machiavelli

10/22/19 9:43am

It's his response because he uses the word and this is his rationalization.

ditch

10/22/19 12:12pm

Wrong

lilpenny

10/23/19 4:36am

Great.

ditch

10/23/19 2:52pm

He was intending to offend disabled people, so I don't think it works here.

Memmo

10/22/19 10:25am

How do you know that? How do you know the intents of his heart?

lilpenny

10/23/19 4:39am

If your anger at someone causes you to compare them to another person, then

Memmo

10/23/19 4:05pm

That's a dumb saying in this instance.

ditch

10/22/19 11:37am

He who is offended even when offense is intended should consider

supercoco

10/22/19 2:02pm

I think you missed the point of the OP.

Cougar Jazz Fan

10/22/19 4:10pm

I was responding more to the thought about taking offense than the OP

supercoco

10/22/19 6:55pm

He who thinks the OP was about taking offense... Is using his imagination

Goliath

10/22/19 3:00pm

So if I am not black or Jewish and someone in a crowd at BYU sports yells ethnic

Archaea

10/23/19 4:16pm

That must be frustrating

Carnac

10/22/19 5:53am

Do others call your kid retarded?

Acorn

10/22/19 6:06am

You should have yelled at him, "WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" Have him take a look around

demon_llama

10/22/19 6:06am

I disagree with many here. I think you'd be fine to kindly say something.

game.blouses

10/22/19 6:37am

Saying nothing was the correct response

byujag

10/22/19 7:04am

Agreed. It is am emotional moment when these guys are angry

Carnac

10/22/19 7:14am

Saying nothing is fine, but saying hey man can you not say that is 100% ok too

palangi

10/22/19 9:40am

So there is only one CORRECT response.

Archaea

10/23/19 4:18pm

I used to use that word as a teenager all the time. It was just a word. I have

rggee

10/22/19 7:13am

I think it’s appropriate to say something but don’t beat yourself up for not

D.T. Survivor

10/22/19 7:40am

My opinion: you probably did the right thing.

jkccoug

10/22/19 7:43am

I think you should have started a fight,

farmboy

10/22/19 7:43am

I have 2 mentally handicapped brothers, so I'm right there too. I generally let

BlueTooth

10/22/19 7:58am

“You refs are demonstrating unacceptable job performance!”

Croweater

10/22/19 7:59am

I feel u. Close fam w/ disabilities and it's bothersome to hear such language

10/22/19 8:02am

It is unfortunate, but it is just a word.

Benfica1

10/22/19 8:20am

Should have told him not to say “freaking” in front of your kids?

PJMort

10/22/19 8:28am

No doubt it's frustrating, but we all choose what to be offended by.

ReggaeCoug

10/22/19 9:08am

You don’t have to take offense to stand up for those around you.

SlantRoute

10/22/19 9:34am

I think you did the right thing letting it go. People grow and learn at their

CougarTailDevourer

10/22/19 9:50am

You were fine. Don’t second guess yourself.

Dr MoBYU

10/22/19 10:08am

Sticks and Stones - best wisdom my Grandfather ever taught me.

OGSuperfan

10/22/19 10:24am

Your Grandpa was a freaking..... GENIUS!

PJMort

10/22/19 10:32am

Let it go?I dont get offended if they say"the refs are blind" its a eupham

10/22/19 1:21pm

Don’t listen to the clowns on here that encourage you to be offended when

10/23/19 3:41am

No one encouraged that. Encouraging to correct =/= encouraging to be offended

game.blouses

10/23/19 5:43am

Yeah, but it's more fun to pretend that it was about being offended. That way

Goliath

10/23/19 6:12am

What is there to correct?

10/23/19 3:55pm

Ignorant remarks that are more harmful than many know

game.blouses

10/23/19 5:17pm

It's only harmful because people let it be harmful. Words only have the power

rcbyufan

10/23/19 5:21pm

Why don't you talk to people who have kids with mental disabilities and ask

Goliath

10/23/19 5:48pm

I have. Frankly, I'm more diplomatic about it when speaking face to face but

rcbyufan

10/23/19 6:44pm

Well goodness sakes, they must all feel so much better and enlightened to have

Goliath

10/23/19 7:13pm

I apologize if I upset you. That was not my intention.

rcbyufan

10/23/19 9:33pm

If people choose to ignore it, fine. But for those ignoring it without under-

Archaea

10/23/19 11:57pm

What you said is true and I agree.

game.blouses

10/23/19 6:02pm

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