And Garn has stated he is not offended when people use the term normally, so I don’t understand the offended comments. Maybe I’m completely misunderstanding, but Garn was feeling concern that his cousin’s boyfriend was being ridiculed, even if unintentionally. He was uncomfortable for the boyfriend and was wondering what the best way to show love to the boy while also being civil. To me, this isn’t about Garn’s feelings about the usage of the word, but concern about someone being hurt.