Some thoughts about anxiety and parenting.

Anxiety disorders are NOT rare. Along with depression, they have increased. I write from 21 years of experience as a psychiatrist/residency and a parent, from personal history and several close familymembers with anxiety disorders.

There are, in my opinion, some difficult things that happen when we oversimplify parents' decisionswith their children regarding anxiety.

I highlight two current opposite pressures happening in society:

Society has to some degree, departed from religion and the vision that leading a moral life is the ultimate success. Without this goal and vision ofsuccess, many parents (Ironically out of anxiety for the success of their children) push their kids like never before to have some specific success in a specific area. The kids become specialists in how to be an accomplishedbaseball player or musician, for example, as they are encouraged to specialize in one sport or one interest at an early age.

This drive to have our children succeed leads to kids who view success in a shallow way. They reject other kids who are not athletic or accomplishing some worldly success.

These kids who are rejected often develop anxiety disorders or depression, as do many of the kids who are pushed to pursue one interest and fail to accomplish their goal in that interest. They have been taught by pressure from their parents and peers that success in this one field determines their self worth.

so the anxiety they feel Is often not the same as the anxiety their parents or grandparents felt with a big game or recital.

This is pervasive in our society. Sometimes the parent seen as "bailing" their child out, by allowing an exit from the stressful event, is literally preserving their childrens' sanity ortheirlives.

Yes there are parents who overly protect. Just a word of caution that it seems dangerous to overly simplify this tendency to protect as overprotection. There is a real increase in anxiety disorders and depression. It is, in my opinion, often, if not usually, impossible to look at agiven family and pretend we understand the background for their decisions to opt out of a stressful situation.

Some people use their depression or anxiety as an excuse to not try. However I think we underestimate the number of people who appear to not be trying, but are in fact broken with anxiety or depression we can not see.