I'm in tears, overcome with emotion and gratitude that so many replied. I really didn't expect to see any replies.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and thoughtful solutions. I genuinely mean that.
I honestly have felt the Saviors love through each of you today in reading through the responses.
I'm not one to normally open up because embarrassment or guilt...I like people to think that everything is okay. I don't want people to worry for me. I'm honestly not trying to look for sympathy, but have been feeling so overwhelmed and not sure where to turn.
Having been brought to the depths, my pride is brushed away knowing I can't do it alone.
Being a single, gay male who wants to still be a part of the Lord's Kingdom is challenging. I don't pretend to think that I'm unique in having challenges. I know everyone has a personal burden to bear that is equally painful.
My parents are deceased (prematurely, relatively speaking) and I miss them terribly. I still experience grief that feel debilitating at times. Thankfully there are moments of joy, but I'm in one of those periods of time that I feel so very alone. You know? I wake up, I pray, I work, I eat, I sin, I feel guilt and time for bed. No one to share in my triumphs or challenges at work. Only to start that again, the next day. No one depends on me, no one to be proud of me, no one that needs me. I'm trying desperately to find a "mental place" where I can feel needed. Church is lonely as an adult male without a wife or children. I just know everyone looks at me and wonders what's wrong with me. But I'm trying to overcome that mentality, as I know it doesn't help the situation.
Anyway, I just really wanted to thank you all again for taking a moment out of your day to lift a strangers heart. Thank you for hearing me. God bless.