Your post really resonates with me. I just saw this and wanted to share a few things. You mentioned everyone has challenges. It's just a simple statement but definitely true for me as well. I can relate to various things that have been posted on this thread. Here are a few things I have come to learn through my own struggles. 100% the primary relief I have found with mental struggles has been through the Savior. He is the master healer and I have come to believe that ALL healing in whatever form it comes is rooted in the Savior. I believe there is not anything outside of the Savior's ability to heal. He does not always give 100% instant relief, but I do think He can heal us in anything. I think the struggle to feel purpose and feel our lives have real value is very challenging. While I think church is 100% the right decision, I agree that church can sometimes amplify the pain associated with this challenge. My view recently has been transitioning more and more that the best thing for me with this challenge is to trust the Savior's view of the value my life holds. I want to be like the Savior. So if I really desire that, then I should trust His opinion over mine about the value my life has and the potential I have. Somehow I feel He values me more than I do. I am definitely working on this for sure because I feel like there is ALWAYS time for the adversary to come tempting me to believe my life holds little to no value if that makes sense. A few other things that help me.....I saw at a gift shop once this "Every bad day is only 24 hours." Another saying I have clung to, "How you feel today is not likely how you will always feel every day." And I have found that to be 100% true. When it comes to mental challenges, sometimes it's hard to feel that things can be different but amazingly they really can and do change. The awful feelings don't seem to be awful always. So definitely when they are awful, I try to remind myself of this fact very forcefully. Mostly I don't really know if any of this is helpful for your situation. Solutions and ways to get help are so different for so many people. But can I just add this, I BELIEVE you have so much to offer. I think the Savior does have a plan for you. I BELIEVE your life looks very different than a lot of followers of Christ, BUT I believe the Savior needs all kinds of people with all kinds of different experiences. He needs your experiences and the things that make you different to be able to achieve many good and great things. No way has the Savior chosen to do His work with the same replicated people making the SAME exact choices with the SAME exact weaknesses. I think He can lead you along and me along and have us do specific things that are different and unique because we are different and unique because He needs to do different and unique things to do His work. To me anyone with any kind of family and any kind of sexual preference can have an incredibly meaningful and impactful life if the Savior leads them along. He is the key and the answer to all of it. (If any of this adds to your pain, please disregard and forget it as it really is meant in the spirit of trying to help and not saying something ignorantly painful and unapplicable. I also am only trying to help as much as an internet message board can help, but I believe God can send you the exact specific help you need through prayer and that could come in so many different ways. If He's helped me, of course He will help you.)