As a BYU fan my whole life, I have lived and breathed BYU football for over 30 years. Some of my most memorable life moments are centered around BYU football. I was at the Miami game, the Beck to Harline game, and I have been at some of our most difficult losses. I have experienced the ups and downs of being a Cougar fan and I have treasured all of them.

I can no longer muster the desire to even care at this point. The state of the program is horrible. The manner in which we let TFD go is an atrocity. Tom’s silence makes it worse. The loss of recruits was expected, but it’s beginning to get out of hand. The fact that we don’t have a replacement yet, is telling. We had NO PLAN when we let Ty go. Further proof that he was a scapegoat. Yes, he probably deserved it, but no less than Sitake. I’m sorry, but Sitake should have been fired. He lost control of his program.

As a fan, I should take my lumps as I have in the past and move forward with hope and anticipation. I’ve done it before. But I can’t this time. As much as I want to care, I simply can’t. I’ve never felt this way as a fan. I can’t describe it. I’ve not given up. I just don’t care. I can’t get excited about a future with Sitake because I don’t believe there is one. I no longer support Holmoe either. He has lost my support and my confidence. His silence has been deafening. This is a sad time for BYU football and a sad time for me because I have become numb to it all. This past season was bad, but I could have gotten past that. It’s the events of the last couple weeks and the poor leadership that has sucked the life out of my BYU football fandom.