The more you talk about a problem the more it stays present

May 13, 2024
8:45:41am

SwanSong All-American

The more you talk about a problem the more it stays present - short term

It could be helpful and in adults an anti depressant can help but belief is it will decrease within 6-8 months on its own

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SwanSong

Previous username: VballDad
Bio page: SwanSong
Joined: Oct 19, 2014
Last login: May 23, 2024
Total posts: 7,860 (9 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

11 yo daughter showing recent signs of depression…any advice

Iman23

May 13, 7:57am

Does she have a phone?

Chester Copperpot

May 13, 8:01am

This was my question.

squints

May 13, 8:12am

More specifically, access to social media?

Mister P

May 13, 8:14am

Gabb phone for talk/text. No social but does game a little bit. Screens are

Iman23

May 13, 8:21am

Maybe try to subtly ask who she watches on YouTube.

Mister P

May 13, 8:24am

Good. I have three daughters ages 19, 17 and 14. All of them around that age

Chester Copperpot

May 13, 9:50am

Find a good therapist for her.

crimedog

May 13, 8:02am

This is conventional wisdom that has been refuted in Abigail Shriers latest book

Idacoug

May 13, 8:34am

The more you talk about a problem the more it stays present - short term

SwanSong

May 13, 8:45am

Here is the book. Bad therapy. Why the kids aren’t growing up.

Idacoug

May 13, 9:17am

Wow, both of those sources are totally suspect.

theonick

May 13, 10:07am

You should read the book. It’s incredibly well researched and data driven

gocougs719

May 13, 10:23am

I’ve read it and I agree with many premises

theonick

May 13, 10:54am

Yeah I wouldn’t agree in any absolute statement about therapy

gocougs719

May 13, 1:27pm

So the idea is to ignore or burry them?

theonick

May 14, 2:17pm

I think you’re making an argument against any point I made

gocougs719

May 15, 5:34pm

Bad therapists do make it worse. But good ones help.

crimedog

May 13, 10:55am

I think that’s the issue. It’s not wholly good or bad

gocougs719

May 13, 1:24pm

It’s just a different animal but not totally

theonick

May 14, 2:26pm

Therapy has been the biggest help with my depression.

North Cat Coug

May 13, 8:02am

My 9 year old is pretty similar. We had a really rough year losing

Adwight

May 13, 8:05am

She has a hard time making friends. But is very friendly with other kids and is

Iman23

May 13, 8:24am

Getting on a sports team is a great way to make new friends. Things like track

BYUtka

May 13, 8:30am

Good advice. Thanks. She has played basketball and volleyball but isn’t doing

Iman23

May 13, 8:32am

Also exercise is beneficial for improving mood. Maybe a good team (of friends)

niqmadu

May 13, 9:44am

Theater/drama can be problematic. If she is artistic, I would encourage

Oatmeal

May 13, 8:55am

I honestly don't like this attitude. Some of the very best kids I teach/work

Adwight

May 13, 9:20am

There are absolutely great kids in Theatre... That is true. It also attracts a

BYUtka

May 13, 9:23am

I would argue that there are other activities as well. Baseball, IMO, is the

Adwight

May 13, 10:52am

Two things worth reading

CalY

May 13, 8:05am

Get her to a therapist. Reading stuff with her might help her understand that it’s ok to feel how she’s feeling, but it

RealTaysomHill

May 13, 8:09am

Is she involved in any sports? I'm no therapist but with my kids it felt

RC Vikings

May 13, 8:14am

With my kids, times they are less physically active the depression is stronger,

BYUtka

May 13, 8:22am

I believe studies show sports for girls is even more beneficial than for boys.

Mister P

May 13, 8:22am

Activity and connection are huge

theonick

May 13, 11:22am

Check out the book The Optimistic Child

B_lemarque

May 13, 8:24am

Thank you!

Iman23

May 13, 8:26am

You can also look at the PHQ-9

B_lemarque

May 13, 9:36am

Is there any family history of mental health challenges?

Mises

May 13, 8:33am

Talk about it with her in relative detail. Ask if she ever feel like self harm

NYC and Japan

May 13, 8:42am

It’s a challenge. You always start with the basics.

troutmaster13

May 13, 8:48am

One thing I always did with our seven kids - monthly father’s or mother’s

BYU I Bleed Blue

May 13, 8:54am

This is good stuff. Agree for anyone with kids.

Acorn

May 13, 9:12am

Lift weights and Vitamin D. Worked for one of my sons. But I know treating depression is different for every kid.

WDaddy

May 13, 9:12am

My oldest daughter was my biggest challenge. She attempted suicide 3 times

AF_Puma

May 13, 9:58am

Start taking her on daddy/daughter dates.

steakandtaters

May 13, 10:12am

I’ve had many conversations with my daughter about her depression and anxiety.

Jfly1975

May 13, 10:29am

May not help, but worked for our daughter and low-cost worth a try

JupiterJones

May 13, 10:34am

Keep loving her and make sure she hears it. Go on a monthly daddy daughter date

Magneto

May 13, 10:34am

I hope Iman23’s daughter can overcome, figure out, or successfully navigate

Alan Schaefer

May 13, 11:04am

6th grade was the worst for our daughter. Find out how your daughter's friend...

oilman

May 13, 11:12am

Physical activity, physical activity, physical activity. If she doesn't have a

birds

May 14, 11:00am

And more sun on skin also.

CougarMandias

May 14, 11:52am

This. I couldn’t be more agreeing and believing in this. I truly believe that

Alan Schaefer

May 14, 11:43pm

^ y'all are my people

birds

May 15, 2:16pm

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