And he's doing it at a geographically remote and frigid university with a Draconian Honor Code and highly rigid academics. Dude should be killing it with all those advantages. I mean, every player on the country wants to take a vow of celibacy and temperance, live in the land that time forgot, and be forced to actually write their own papers. Those 5 star athletes with fast twitch muscle are probably beating down BYU's doors but no...Bronco only wants walk on players from Orem.

And hey, he's not stuck in some P-5 conference with all those automatic bowl tie in's and 30 million bucks a year. No, he has the opportunity to have the worst travel schedule in the nation while playing the bulk of his tougher games on the road. Dude has some serious advantages...

Honestly, I don't know why BYU ever loses a game. 80% of it's players are able to go on 2 year strength, agility and conditioning programs designed to bring them home in almost cyborg shape. Plus he has the advantage of being able to suspend players when they do drink a beer. Other coaches have to just deal with that.

With all of those inherent advantages, I honestly don't know why he has ever lost a game. BYU is football Mecca. You absolutely have to try to lose games if you coach at BYU due to all of the advantages listed above. It's time to fire Bronco, run him and his family out on a rail, and hire the guy Carolina Coug suggests...or maybe some kind of Cougarboard brain trust with CC as the figure head. Between all of you, I'm sure BYU lands whatever recruit they choose, none of them ever struggle with the Honor Code, and your superior cone technology will ensure that not only can they tackle other players...they can dance around cones better than any other players on the planet.

It's time to make Cougarboard the head coach and start collecting rings and crystal trophies...

B