It's not that I don't understand the situation, be it mental illness, cancer,

Dec 5, 2018
4:51:25pm

unctoothman All-American

whatever. It's that in the immediate aftermath of a death - especially like this - expressions of support, sympathy, and love are appropriate. No need to brush "sad" aside and jump right into why it really isn't that sad.

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unctoothman

Bio page: unctoothman
Joined: Mar 15, 2006
Last login: Jun 17, 2024
Total posts: 70,009 (40,272 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Condolences to the family and friends of the student who fell on Monday.

SoValleyCOUG

12/5/18 4:06pm

I know them well. The tragedy, while saddening, was not surprising and probably

byubyu

12/5/18 4:15pm

This kind of thing is probably best not to put in genpop.

jdub

12/5/18 4:18pm

What kind of thing? That she suffered from mental illness?

byubyu

12/5/18 4:20pm

Because it's incredibly insensitive.

RSL

12/5/18 4:23pm

the post itself is oddly worded anyway considering what happened.

jwf

12/5/18 4:25pm

He isn’t giving her name. I don’t see a problem, but a small insight

Monomachos

12/5/18 4:27pm

I don’t mind the insight but I disagree she is

Archaea

12/5/18 4:32pm

I don’t know enough to judge.

Monomachos

12/5/18 4:35pm

Agree, but I believe there is unbelievable mercy

Carnac

12/5/18 4:40pm

I am not judging. I loathe the expression a person

Archaea

12/5/18 5:55pm

Except, many of these people are seriously suffering and maybe, just maybe

OmahaThunderCoug

12/5/18 6:10pm

That is NOT the point. This discussion is for the living.

Archaea

12/5/18 6:18pm

You should tell this to her parents. I'm sure they would love to hear your

byubyu

12/5/18 6:25pm

They can feel however they wish but we should not

Archaea

12/5/18 6:31pm

Thanks for your input on how we should feel!

byubyu

12/5/18 6:37pm

The trite dismissive response to grief will harm

Archaea

12/5/18 6:46pm

Grieve with those who grieve. I think a lot of us promised that.

SoValleyCOUG

12/5/18 9:36pm

Part of our culture doesn't believe that. We believe grieving makes you a bad

Archaea

12/5/18 10:43pm

Understanding where they are it eases the pain, but it's still very difficult.

SoValleyCOUG

12/5/18 11:02pm

When it hits home you are right but many dismiss

Archaea

12/5/18 11:31pm

Thanks for the clarification. I thought you were originally talking about the

OmahaThunderCoug

12/5/18 6:27pm

THATS BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HISTORY OF PSYCHIATRY, I DO

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 4:29pm

Then explain Lithium.

Division Bell

12/6/18 4:31pm

No. No. Abso— Matt, now you're talking about two different things.

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 4:39pm

Who's Matt? And why are you screaming on the post above?

Division Bell

12/6/18 4:41pm

Matt. Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib. You don't even know what

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 4:44pm

Sorry, I'm lost.

Division Bell

12/6/18 5:04pm

But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There's

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 5:07pm

RE: Matt. Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib. You don't even know

SanDiegoCoug

12/6/18 8:44pm

<< Deleted >>

Division Bell

12/6/18 8:48pm

I’m fine with thinking the deceased, whether by their own choosing or due to circumstances beyond their control, are

Texas Hammer

12/5/18 4:40pm

Agreed. Really, that's pretty much Gospel doctrine, right? The afterlife is

Game Changer

12/5/18 4:49pm

I hate that expression as it robs the grieving of their grief.

Archaea

12/5/18 5:57pm

Suicide is 100% avoidable. I'm sure they would rather have her institutionalized than dead

IceBlueCoug

12/5/18 4:29pm

isn't cost an issue most times?

jwf

12/5/18 4:31pm

Off you don’t value life

IceBlueCoug

12/5/18 5:15pm

This is the down side to mental health

troutmaster13

12/5/18 5:18pm

That’s when the church can step in and help out

IceBlueCoug

12/5/18 5:36pm

You would hope so but a lot of variables go into getting help sometimes

troutmaster13

12/5/18 6:54pm

it is pricey.....doubt the church is going to pony up thousands every month.

jwf

12/6/18 1:31pm

I saw our stake pony up over $25k for a member

tander123

12/6/18 5:32pm

alpine?

jwf

12/10/18 4:05pm

Anyone who says someone is in a better has either

Archaea

12/5/18 4:31pm

Or you haven't spoken to her parents.....

byubyu

12/5/18 4:39pm

This is absolutely not true. What do you think of people with horrible chronic

Game Changer

12/5/18 4:54pm

You think everyone agrees with you that there is a wonderful

Archaea

12/5/18 5:59pm

I have a co worker that

Swishfromdeep3

12/5/18 6:28pm

<< Deleted >>

Raging Caddy

12/5/18 6:38pm

I would actually say the opposite. It’s the rationalizing hope that those who

JONBOY

12/5/18 5:07pm

In dealing with grief this is actually a lousy way of dealing with it.

Archaea

12/5/18 6:00pm

This is an ignorant comment. Many people here on earth are not in a good place

volleyjiver

12/5/18 5:14pm

My niece committed suicide after years of a chemical imbalance.

Division Bell

12/5/18 5:36pm

But maybe has watched someone suffer in horrible ways.

kccougar

12/6/18 2:01pm

I wouldn’t be so sure about that...depression can be a terrible, terrible thing. I know people who take joy in knowing

Texas Hammer

12/5/18 4:44pm

Might some find relief or rationalize it? Yes

Archaea

12/5/18 6:02pm

<< Deleted >>

Raging Caddy

12/5/18 6:03pm

<< Deleted >>

MMCougIII

12/6/18 11:39am

We should have a goal of 100% prevention outside of

Archaea

12/6/18 11:48am

<< Deleted >>

MMCougIII

12/6/18 12:09pm

There should be a balance as there will be times where family and friends miss

Archaea

12/6/18 12:55pm

It's not about blame but it's about help. Husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters need to educate

IceBlueCoug

12/6/18 11:59am

Just want to point out

Carnac

12/6/18 12:08pm

<< Deleted >>

MMCougIII

12/6/18 12:11pm

You could not be more wrong. Suicide is not a necessary result of mental illness. It is preventable in

CDV

12/5/18 4:31pm

Could you share where she lived? Hellman, Heritage, or off campus?

Paco

12/5/18 4:41pm

I pray I never end up in a place where you are in a position of influence for my

unctoothman

12/5/18 4:42pm

He probably could have worded it better

Carnac

12/5/18 4:47pm

It's not that I don't understand the situation, be it mental illness, cancer,

unctoothman

12/5/18 4:51pm

That's fair.

Carnac

12/5/18 4:52pm

The real problem is the message to others with depression.

Paco

12/5/18 4:55pm

Makes sense...

Blue Ghost

12/5/18 5:27pm

Don't condemn somebody because they weren't as sensitive as they should have been. There's too much of that today.

Brisco

12/6/18 12:32am

He was dismissive and resorted to trite phraseology.

Archaea

12/6/18 7:54am

Very harsh words. Don't agree with them. He can be my neighbor.

777

12/6/18 1:19am

That's an awfully cynical way of interpreting what he said.

kccougar

12/6/18 2:05pm

There was a solid year that I worried at least on a monthly basis if my son was

JONBOY

12/5/18 4:59pm

My son is mentally ill.

antiyewt

12/7/18 10:09am

Thanks for sharing. Best wishes to you and your son.

SoValleyCOUG

12/7/18 10:51am

You said it more elegantly than the rest of us. Thank you.

Archaea

12/7/18 11:33am

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