You couldn’t survive and be successful in an academic job. With your assumed little expectations, you’d be out the door in no time.
You think there are fewer risks and it is easy to work as a researcher, scholar and professor compared to non-academic Emloyment!?!? Wow - where did you go to school to think that might be the case? Did you even go to graduate school? If so, maybe it was on-line or something! My guess: University of Phoenix.
While working at some of the highest level (research 1) universities over the past 20 years, I’ve worked my tail off and risked everything doing so. There have been moments they I wished at times that I had an easier and lower-risk job in “your work world”.
Oh how I wished I had a $5,000-$10,000 Christmas bonus given to me every year just for being employed or that I might be able to accrue a yearly 5-6 weeks of paid vacation and another 2 weeks of sick leave - and adding an additional paid week off every year or get a 5-7% raise every single year or get sales commissions that add up to thousands of extra bonus dollars every year - just for doing your job.

Oh the hard life outside of academia.