Part of our culture doesn't believe that. We believe grieving makes you a bad

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Dec 5, 2018
10:43:42pm

Archaea All-American

Part of our culture doesn't believe that. We believe grieving makes you a bad

person. I've met members of our culture who feel ashamed when they grieve because we're supposed to think they're in a better place. That's not human. Losing our family and friends sucks. Grieve so that you can eventually not feel as pained by it. Bury it and you will cause other problems.

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Archaea

Bio page: Archaea
Joined: Mar 28, 2001
Last login: May 2, 2024
Total posts: 93,715 (3,089 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Condolences to the family and friends of the student who fell on Monday.

SoValleyCOUG

12/5/18 4:06pm

I know them well. The tragedy, while saddening, was not surprising and probably

byubyu

12/5/18 4:15pm

This kind of thing is probably best not to put in genpop.

jdub

12/5/18 4:18pm

What kind of thing? That she suffered from mental illness?

byubyu

12/5/18 4:20pm

Because it's incredibly insensitive.

RSL

12/5/18 4:23pm

the post itself is oddly worded anyway considering what happened.

jwf

12/5/18 4:25pm

He isn’t giving her name. I don’t see a problem, but a small insight

Monomachos

12/5/18 4:27pm

I don’t mind the insight but I disagree she is

Archaea

12/5/18 4:32pm

I don’t know enough to judge.

Monomachos

12/5/18 4:35pm

Agree, but I believe there is unbelievable mercy

Carnac

12/5/18 4:40pm

I am not judging. I loathe the expression a person

Archaea

12/5/18 5:55pm

Except, many of these people are seriously suffering and maybe, just maybe

OmahaThunderCoug

12/5/18 6:10pm

That is NOT the point. This discussion is for the living.

Archaea

12/5/18 6:18pm

You should tell this to her parents. I'm sure they would love to hear your

byubyu

12/5/18 6:25pm

They can feel however they wish but we should not

Archaea

12/5/18 6:31pm

Thanks for your input on how we should feel!

byubyu

12/5/18 6:37pm

The trite dismissive response to grief will harm

Archaea

12/5/18 6:46pm

Grieve with those who grieve. I think a lot of us promised that.

SoValleyCOUG

12/5/18 9:36pm

Part of our culture doesn't believe that. We believe grieving makes you a bad

Archaea

12/5/18 10:43pm

Understanding where they are it eases the pain, but it's still very difficult.

SoValleyCOUG

12/5/18 11:02pm

When it hits home you are right but many dismiss

Archaea

12/5/18 11:31pm

Thanks for the clarification. I thought you were originally talking about the

OmahaThunderCoug

12/5/18 6:27pm

THATS BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HISTORY OF PSYCHIATRY, I DO

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 4:29pm

Then explain Lithium.

12/6/18 4:31pm

No. No. Abso— Matt, now you're talking about two different things.

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 4:39pm

Who's Matt? And why are you screaming on the post above?

12/6/18 4:41pm

Matt. Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib. You don't even know what

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 4:44pm

Sorry, I'm lost.

12/6/18 5:04pm

But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There's

buckeyecougarguy

12/6/18 5:07pm

RE: Matt. Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib. You don't even know

12/6/18 8:44pm

<< Deleted >>

12/6/18 8:48pm

I’m fine with thinking the deceased, whether by their own choosing or due to circumstances beyond their control, are

12/5/18 4:40pm

Agreed. Really, that's pretty much Gospel doctrine, right? The afterlife is

Game Changer

12/5/18 4:49pm

I hate that expression as it robs the grieving of their grief.

Archaea

12/5/18 5:57pm

Suicide is 100% avoidable. I'm sure they would rather have her institutionalized than dead

IceBlueCoug

12/5/18 4:29pm

isn't cost an issue most times?

jwf

12/5/18 4:31pm

Off you don’t value life

IceBlueCoug

12/5/18 5:15pm

This is the down side to mental health

troutmaster13

12/5/18 5:18pm

That’s when the church can step in and help out

IceBlueCoug

12/5/18 5:36pm

You would hope so but a lot of variables go into getting help sometimes

troutmaster13

12/5/18 6:54pm

it is pricey.....doubt the church is going to pony up thousands every month.

jwf

12/6/18 1:31pm

I saw our stake pony up over $25k for a member

tander123

12/6/18 5:32pm

alpine?

jwf

12/10/18 4:05pm

Anyone who says someone is in a better has either

Archaea

12/5/18 4:31pm

Or you haven't spoken to her parents.....

byubyu

12/5/18 4:39pm

This is absolutely not true. What do you think of people with horrible chronic

Game Changer

12/5/18 4:54pm

You think everyone agrees with you that there is a wonderful

Archaea

12/5/18 5:59pm

I have a co worker that

12/5/18 6:28pm

<< Deleted >>

Raging Caddy

12/5/18 6:38pm

I would actually say the opposite. It’s the rationalizing hope that those who

JONBOY

12/5/18 5:07pm

In dealing with grief this is actually a lousy way of dealing with it.

Archaea

12/5/18 6:00pm

This is an ignorant comment. Many people here on earth are not in a good place

volleyjiver

12/5/18 5:14pm

My niece committed suicide after years of a chemical imbalance.

12/5/18 5:36pm

But maybe has watched someone suffer in horrible ways.

kccougar

12/6/18 2:01pm

I wouldn’t be so sure about that...depression can be a terrible, terrible thing. I know people who take joy in knowing

12/5/18 4:44pm

Might some find relief or rationalize it? Yes

Archaea

12/5/18 6:02pm

<< Deleted >>

Raging Caddy

12/5/18 6:03pm

<< Deleted >>

MMCougIII

12/6/18 11:39am

We should have a goal of 100% prevention outside of

Archaea

12/6/18 11:48am

<< Deleted >>

MMCougIII

12/6/18 12:09pm

There should be a balance as there will be times where family and friends miss

Archaea

12/6/18 12:55pm

It's not about blame but it's about help. Husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters need to educate

IceBlueCoug

12/6/18 11:59am

Just want to point out

Carnac

12/6/18 12:08pm

<< Deleted >>

MMCougIII

12/6/18 12:11pm

You could not be more wrong. Suicide is not a necessary result of mental illness. It is preventable in

CDV

12/5/18 4:31pm

Could you share where she lived? Hellman, Heritage, or off campus?

Paco

12/5/18 4:41pm

I pray I never end up in a place where you are in a position of influence for my

unctoothman

12/5/18 4:42pm

He probably could have worded it better

Carnac

12/5/18 4:47pm

It's not that I don't understand the situation, be it mental illness, cancer,

unctoothman

12/5/18 4:51pm

That's fair.

Carnac

12/5/18 4:52pm

The real problem is the message to others with depression.

Paco

12/5/18 4:55pm

Makes sense...

Blue Ghost

12/5/18 5:27pm

Don't condemn somebody because they weren't as sensitive as they should have been. There's too much of that today.

Brisco

12/6/18 12:32am

He was dismissive and resorted to trite phraseology.

Archaea

12/6/18 7:54am

Very harsh words. Don't agree with them. He can be my neighbor.

777

12/6/18 1:19am

That's an awfully cynical way of interpreting what he said.

kccougar

12/6/18 2:05pm

There was a solid year that I worried at least on a monthly basis if my son was

JONBOY

12/5/18 4:59pm

My son is mentally ill.

antiyewt

12/7/18 10:09am

Thanks for sharing. Best wishes to you and your son.

SoValleyCOUG

12/7/18 10:51am

You said it more elegantly than the rest of us. Thank you.

Archaea

12/7/18 11:33am

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