attacks, extremely obese and w/same sex issues. Neither in the church anymore. Both have had counseling since 5. My son has acted out since he was 3 and my daughter as a young adult. Both around 30. Low paying jobs and lots of issues still. I have spent so much time on my knees in prayer, in contemplation, and in reflection. This is what I've learned.
Regardless of where my children are with the gospel or with me personally, it's my job to help them become functioning adults, even if they hate me for it.
My son has been in and out of drug and other programs since he was fourteen. The last time, I made sure he went to jail for theft. The money he stole (6000) didn't matter as much as keeping him alive for the next 6 months. (meth addict) I explained to him the consequences of his actions (18) and then testified in court. He's never graduated from HS, is off meth and lives far away. He acknowledges now that what I did for him then, was the best thing. Our relationship is still fragile.
My daughter, I forced to leave home at 19 because it was the best thing for her. I talked to her or visited at least once a day. She has a part-time job and an aide that helps with certain areas of her life. She is still struggling with her sexuality and I hope I've helped in that department. We talk every day, but we stay away from a lot of topics.
Children are on loan to us. I used to ask God why he gave these precious children to me when there were other parents much more capable to care for them. I've felt inadequate until someone reminded me that I had all these problems and had figured a way to deal with life. Life is hard. Extremely hard for some, but it's our determination to live and care for others that changes ultimately their outlook. Good luck to all of you as you deal with these delicate situations. (Sorry for the long post.)
PS I made part of it worse since I was dealing with cancer and other health issues during their teenage years.