don't give company chapstick, nobody wants that

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Mar 13, 2019
2:57:21pm

Dissenter All-American

don't give company chapstick, nobody wants that

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Dissenter

Previous username: nlawyer
New username: 459873495872345
Bio page: Dissenter
Joined: Jul 18, 2011
Last login: Aug 31, 2019
Total posts: 0 (0 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

What has been you experience being onboarded to a new company?

markis_cougarfan

3/13/19 2:25pm

Onboarded? What kind of kooky business term is that?

kccougar

3/13/19 2:26pm

I hear it all the time and I don't work in HR.

3/13/19 2:31pm

It’s kind of like water boarding, but drier.

BW84

3/13/19 2:33pm

Any noun can be verbed, silly.

cheezedawg

3/13/19 2:35pm

Yep. And verbs can be nouned: "So what's your ask?" Ugh.

Hawk in the 303

3/13/19 2:51pm

Recently, a sign was hung above a printer that said, "This printer is scheduled to be end-of-lifed"

cheezedawg

3/13/19 3:02pm

Probably better than being offboarded.

Eddie

3/13/19 2:43pm

Heard that all the time

Duke Silver

3/13/19 2:55pm

For starters stop calling it onboarding. That is just weird.

The Board Imbecile

3/13/19 2:26pm

Hack job.

The Board Imbecile

3/13/19 2:26pm

Do most people agree with this? I thought "onboarding" was an incredibly standard term.

cougfanblue

3/13/19 2:27pm

It is a term mostly used with younger people.

chago04

3/13/19 2:28pm

It is a standard term.

Pimpin4Paradise

3/13/19 2:28pm

Standard with my company

Born2Fish

3/13/19 2:29pm

It has become standard, but is still stupid.

fredgarvin

3/13/19 2:33pm

Surprise, surprise, I am in the minority on something.

The Board Imbecile

3/13/19 2:36pm

Standard

3/13/19 3:00pm

commonly used, don't see the issue.

ArchbishopMitty

3/14/19 1:07am

Oh, its standard. Doesn't make it not dumb, though. Why not use existing words that are more than adequate?

cheezedawg

3/14/19 1:54am

The term has been around since 1988

3/14/19 4:56pm

It's becoming more and more common, especially in tech companies and departments

RebelScum

3/13/19 2:28pm

Onboarding is a very common term in today's corporate vernacular.

CougaReb

3/13/19 3:13pm

Just give the new hires all kinds of swag

maxpowers

3/13/19 2:30pm

Longer meetings w/less focus. Include idle chat, inside jokes, & family stories.

kimchicoug

3/13/19 2:35pm

Make it short, <2 hours. And give QUALITY company branded stuff. Don't give crap from promotional companies.

Ragnar Danneskjold

3/13/19 2:37pm

don't give company chapstick, nobody wants that

Dissenter

3/13/19 2:57pm

I agree that chapstick isn't the best swag idea, but I have to admit that...

CougaReb

3/14/19 2:08pm

TNT hasn't even heard of those companies

TNT

3/13/19 3:04pm

I prefer Live Lucky hats.

Eddie

3/14/19 2:15pm

if by onboarding you mean bringing on new hires, the most important thing

aplusfan

3/13/19 2:40pm

Same with my wife’s govt job

KingDave

3/13/19 3:53pm

Happened to me at Symantec. Just sat at an empty desk for 6 weeks waiting for

Dillinger

3/13/19 3:57pm

Happened to me also - I had to pair program for 3 weeks while I waited

DryFlyUte

3/13/19 4:02pm

I onboarded with a company that I started at 2 years ago

DryFlyUte

3/13/19 2:49pm

Good answer.

flavordave

3/13/19 3:02pm

I once worked for a local company who provided a completely miserable first week

germm

3/13/19 2:51pm

You want to enhance the initial excitement and anticipation that comes from...

CougaReb

3/13/19 3:04pm

who do you work for, and are you hiring?

Dissenter

3/13/19 5:04pm

Have my computer ready, show me where the crapper is, detail benefits clearly

Dillinger

3/13/19 3:12pm

Onboarding is a term like "circle back", "the _____ piece", or "I'll reach out" (instead of "I'll call").

SaturdaySpecialDay

3/13/19 3:15pm

The welcoming experience shouldn’t be a facade

KingDave

3/13/19 4:08pm

I'm a big believer in a 90-day plan

Diddy

3/13/19 4:24pm

I've been teaching an intro class for the last several years

Zenoch

3/13/19 4:47pm

We use the term onboarding with my company all the time. My biggest frustration when onboarding someone new is when

Nuke

3/13/19 6:55pm

What industry?

care86

3/13/19 7:16pm

Oil and gas

markis_cougarfan

3/14/19 9:28am

Here is the solution you use

Heinz57

3/13/19 7:31pm

Thanks everyone for your responses! They were (mostly) very helpful!

markis_cougarfan

3/14/19 1:10pm

Combine it with water boarding......,

BYU Grounds

3/14/19 3:01pm

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