I recently read an interesting book about this phenomenon/culture

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Jan 26, 2021
9:46:44am

WP17 Truly Addicted User

I recently read an interesting book about this phenomenon/culture

“The Meritocracy Trap”

Basically discusses how our modern concepts of merit have pushed us into careers that reinforce our merit but ultimately are not fulfilling or enjoyable.

And I say this as someone who is in the middle of this trap- went to an elite undergrad and currently prepping for elite MBA with plans to go back to NYC after (I agree- NYC is intoxicating. I went to school nearby and met my wife there. We both love it unconditionally haha)

This message has been modified

Originally posted on Jan 26, 2021 at 9:46:44am

Message modified by WP17 on Jan 26, 2021 at 9:48:23am

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WP17

Bio page: WP17
Joined: Sep 12, 2016
Last login: Apr 27, 2024
Total posts: 9,731 (812 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

POLL: $350k vs $190k

Hodor

1/24/21 10:16pm

Making $190k in Utah at age 35? Seems pretty good

TNT

1/24/21 10:17pm

Through a series of lucky events, I found myself in a niche that involves pay

Hodor

1/24/21 10:24pm

Awesome. Kudos. *ahem* (TNT need money please help)

TNT

1/24/21 10:25pm

Hypotheticals are too low. Can’t conceptualize so I didn’t answer.

1/24/21 10:18pm

How long would you have to keep the new job to make that salary bump? 5 years? Could you then leave and still make

1/24/21 10:18pm

Highly unlikely, at least to a place where the lifestyle is any better.

Hodor

1/24/21 10:20pm

What industry is this?? Do you enjoy what you do?

WP17

1/25/21 10:39am

Unless you have a way to offset it, a lot of your income at $350k starts

1/24/21 10:18pm

That’s a good point. Have to calculate the pros and cons based off take home

Powerbait DPM

1/25/21 5:40pm

Is this a CB humble brag?

letthewookieewin

1/24/21 10:19pm

Textbook

blueaussie

1/24/21 10:46pm

Yep and done beautifully.

BluePassion

1/24/21 11:14pm

Do you have a family and kids? Do you like them? Do you want them to like you?

byubyu

1/24/21 10:20pm

Yes and yes. The worry: men are meant to grow and be challenged. Kids seeing

Hodor

1/24/21 10:21pm

Men are meant to be dads and spend time with their kids as much as possible.

cougstyle

1/24/21 10:23pm

If good enough gets you everything you want, what does the rest matter. You have

TaiJuan

1/24/21 10:24pm

Kids really want time with Dad. Not seeing dad because he is working

JohnnyC

1/24/21 10:26pm

As a kid I never thought about that and I doubt my kids do

Beggar

1/24/21 10:33pm

What kid is evaluating how there parents push themselves at work? I just knew

califcougar

1/24/21 10:38pm

Find side hobbies and things to push yourself... Kids want a relationship not a

BYUFootballisBack

1/24/21 10:41pm

Nothing you haven't heard already - but time w/your kids is invaluable. You may

BlueTooth

1/24/21 10:42pm

This is like the “more time in the office” deathbed hypo in reverse.

Memmo

1/24/21 10:43pm

Feels like your mind is telling you one thing and your heart is the opposite.

Bin01015

1/24/21 10:49pm

here's a thought, then: don't be content to just be a good dad; choose to be a great one; get out of your comfort zone

BYUtiful

1/24/21 11:01pm

My thought on this....career growth doesn’t necessarily equal personal growth.

Kavorka

1/24/21 11:07pm

Not all growth must be professional. Go run triathlons or be a synchronized

ryebrye

1/25/21 5:44am

Well, you’re bound to get one thumbs up on this once HarlemCoug logs in

Nikomedes

1/25/21 6:48am

Why would anyone tell their kids they don't feel challenged at work?

ochobeeguy

1/25/21 11:12am

Having time with kids is more important to th than their bragging rights about

niqmadu

1/25/21 6:40am

$150k difference is a lot of earning potential if invested. That equals earlier

Revolution

1/24/21 10:20pm

Retire in 1/3 the time? Easy for me. Take the new job.

TANK

1/24/21 10:29pm

And miss your kids' younger years? No thanks.

Chasicle

1/24/21 11:11pm

Not worth the sacrifice of time with kids. Kids>more money. Keep the current job

Cougar TD

1/24/21 11:32pm

The difference is only $75k after the divorce.

DiamondMo

1/25/21 8:12am

And much much less than that after taxes eat a large portion

BYUFootballisBack

1/25/21 9:53am

Selling Essential Oils is not that lucrative

Babyboy

1/24/21 10:20pm

Biden or Trump tax brackets?!?!

1/24/21 10:21pm

Money isn't everything, time is. Spend time with your family, friends, hobbies,

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

1/24/21 10:23pm

Stop shopping around. I will push you harder if you want me to and pay you more if you just help us increase revenue 😉

Trent

1/24/21 10:23pm

How long do the insane work hours last? If it is 2-5 years of being all-in in order to set yourself up for the

Clark Addison

1/24/21 10:24pm

Probably ten more years of grinding at this pace.

Hodor

1/24/21 10:26pm

Then to me that is a coin flip and depends on what you want, and what is important to you.

Clark Addison

1/24/21 10:37pm

Ten years working until 2 AM and no weekends?? Bruh.

WP17

1/25/21 10:26am

See if you can find Church member mentors who took the $1.5M option,

Joe Banks

1/24/21 10:27pm

Almost all divorced at least once. A couple have great families/marriages though

Hodor

1/24/21 10:29pm

There you go! Go in with eyes wide open. Wife needs to be on board.

(Private)

1/24/21 10:48pm

Well it actually sounds like she doesn't need to be since he'll swap her out

ryebrye

1/25/21 5:46am

Sounds like consulting for McKinsey

niqmadu

1/25/21 8:16am

Except most people jump out at 2-3 years. And weekends are free

WP17

1/25/21 10:23am

I’d take the bigger money and retire in 10 years.

JollyGreenGiant

1/24/21 10:29pm

You never said what your wife and family want

BYU4eVeR

1/24/21 10:30pm

They want me to be happy and fulfilled. New job means permanent WFH, which is

Hodor

1/24/21 10:31pm

I keep hearing Me me me.... sound like you need to re-evaluate your family

BYU4eVeR

1/24/21 10:34pm

It’s not a perk when you’re permanently working. The way you described it (2am+,

CrackerJack

1/24/21 10:36pm

Can’t buy happiness

DrinkSuin

1/24/21 10:31pm

But it’s a lot easier to focus on happiness when you’re not worried about rent

WP17

1/25/21 10:29am

The point is the current salary is already waaay more than enough

BYUFootballisBack

1/25/21 11:42am

Yeah, agreed. Especially since he has an upward trajectory

WP17

1/25/21 11:54am

I’m less interested in your situation than what I did wrong in life.

ballen

1/24/21 10:32pm

If you’re content, I’m jealous. Seriously.

Hodor

1/24/21 10:33pm

I do fine and make more than I ever thought I would but it blows my mind how

ballen

1/24/21 10:34pm

Is your company hiring?

1/24/21 10:32pm

Dang. TNT could probably be a janitor there and make $110k/year

TNT

1/24/21 10:34pm

They might be depending on the answers to the polls.

Hodor

1/24/21 10:34pm

Don’t assume your quality of life goes down... but go for quality of life.

(Private)

1/24/21 10:45pm

FWIW-A college friend found himself in a similar situation after graduating

m0resn0w

1/24/21 10:46pm

As some have mentioned above your NEEDS to be truly all in. Some truly are happy

Cheap Seats

1/24/21 10:50pm

Your wife...

(Private)

1/24/21 10:51pm

Married? Kids?

Heath Squashwell

1/24/21 10:53pm

Just saw the thread above this. Might be time to reflect on your purpose.

Heath Squashwell

1/24/21 10:54pm

Married. Two kids under six. At least one more in the future.

Hodor

1/24/21 10:56pm

As someone who makes a fraction of what you make, let me say...

Heath Squashwell

1/24/21 11:16pm

When is enough... Enough. More money isn't always with the sacrifice of time.

Cougar TD

1/24/21 11:34pm

Very relatable concerns...

Kavorka

1/24/21 10:56pm

No way i take the money

zephyr

1/24/21 11:07pm

I think too many people are thinking a new job is a forever thing.

jrob30

1/24/21 11:14pm

Potentially without a wife and kids you lost custody of.

Chasicle

1/24/21 11:16pm

Depends What Makes You Happy

1/24/21 11:17pm

Have a heart to heart with someone who has done it. Working round the clock with

1/24/21 11:32pm

Six years of I-banking was enough for me. But I do to this day appreciate the learning, professional growth, network, &

Trent

1/25/21 12:14am

Leave it up to your wife

ARCoug

1/25/21 12:14am

Glad it’s working out.. how long have you been in the tougher specialty?

cougfanz

1/25/21 7:55am

If it's more $ you want + quality of life, maybe a side gig could be the answer

Shore10

1/25/21 1:11am

What industry is this?

Jimmertime

1/25/21 3:57am

Get an offer and see what your current employer is willing to do, but be prepare

NacoCoug

1/25/21 5:21am

That’s a hard decision and I know exactly where you’re coming from

hansel

1/25/21 5:37am

The sweet spot to me with is a good balance between making good money and also

brazilcoug

1/25/21 6:40am

People who don’t work nights (with no time off during the day) have no clue how

cougfanz

1/25/21 7:06am

I believe congratulations are in order

HONOMO

1/25/21 9:47am

I enjoy working but it’s not the only thing I enjoy doing. If I don’t have time

Odysseus

1/25/21 9:57am

No weekends and working with people you don’t like for your prime years? 🤮

WP17

1/25/21 10:36am

Sounds like Biglaw? I have been at a NYC firm now for 6 years. It can be brutal.

Pied Piper

1/25/21 11:37am

Why do you continue?

WP17

1/25/21 4:30pm

Big money

Jimmertime

1/25/21 6:17pm

Yes married and kids and in NYC (not right now because of COVID). Yes the money

Pied Piper

1/26/21 8:59am

I recently read an interesting book about this phenomenon/culture

WP17

1/26/21 9:46am

Hard pass on option 2.

machete

1/25/21 3:16pm

At 35 I probably would have taken the money and prestige

PROBcoug

1/25/21 4:11pm

Decide to be among the best in the world at what you no matter who employs you.

Cully

1/25/21 11:51pm

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