It is true that BYU does not have all the resources it would wish to have. That is true of 97% of all football programs. There is no world where BYU competes with Oregon, Texas, OSU, or the top SEC schools.
There are people under Tom Holmoe, that talk to him nearly every day and they are on a need-to-know basis. Once they know, they pretty much universally don't talk. They know a slip-up costs far more that their job. They simply don't talk.
Are Kilani's requests being listened to? Yes, and they always have been. Major investment takes time, especially for sports. It is not enough to have money. It is my understanding that things are in motion and have been since the BIG12 announcement.
Kilani may leave, but it will not be from lack of support. Some underlings in the AD may say otherwise, but I highly doubt Kilani feels that way himself. He gets the big picture. The underlings have only partial pictures.