Contrasting examples that essentially pivoted on # of children.

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Jul 18, 2019
11:42:25am

TheWanderer Playmaker

Contrasting examples that essentially pivoted on # of children.

As much as we love to flap out the old "How many kids to have is between you, your spouse, and God" it does seem that there are many instances where pretty much all that actually matters for "righteousness" is to have 3+ children. The number is the one metric we care about.

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TheWanderer

Bio page: TheWanderer
Joined: Mar 18, 2016
Last login: Apr 27, 2024
Total posts: 11,071 (1,417 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

Kral

7/18/19 11:24am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:25am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

flavordave

7/18/19 11:27am

it is "strongly discouraged"?

byu1

7/18/19 11:28am

In Handbook 1 for leaders, yes. But that position given to Church leaders

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:29am

A friend of mine asked his bishop because the handbook says to do that

buffgato

7/18/19 11:33am

Yeah at this point that portion of the handbook is almost quaint. I bet 50% of

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:38am

I'd take that bet. 50% seems high.

John Doe

7/18/19 12:31pm

what would you peg it at? just out of curiosity.

jkccoug

7/18/19 2:05pm

Considering only ~10% of men in America have done it

7/18/19 2:28pm

Well you have to break it down by age category. Bishops are overwhelmingly 40+

jkccoug

7/18/19 2:42pm

Fair enough. I'm sure the majority of men who've done the procedure

7/18/19 3:10pm

Yeah I tried to look it up too. Surprisingly little data.

jkccoug

7/18/19 3:18pm

page 76 and 77 of this CDC study

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 3:38pm

I first went to page 66. I feel bad for those guys in the 3rd column...

7/18/19 4:50pm

Thanks! So roughly 27-28% for the age/marital status

jkccoug

7/18/19 5:04pm

Demographics play a huge role. If you have one, and tell your friends how

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 5:09pm

What % of men will end up having a vasectomy? What age group are those 10% in?

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 2:49pm

Pretty sure it is in Handbook 2 also.

AggieWeekendCougar

7/18/19 11:39am

You're right! Has that been in there a long time? I don't recall seeing it

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:41am

Yes.

BYUtka

7/18/19 12:44pm

It’s very much a case by case thing

buffgato

7/18/19 11:28am

How many kids does one have before a vasectomy is "ok" in your opinion?

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:37am

Up to you. I’m just giving contrasting examples

buffgato

7/18/19 11:39am

Contrasting examples that essentially pivoted on # of children.

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:42am

I think you missed most of what I said

buffgato

7/18/19 11:47am

Okay, I'll accept that. I can see that reading of it.

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:47am

My parents had 3 kids, my bro 4, me 5, my sis 2. My sister is inactive in the church. What if my sister had 3 kids, huh?

7/18/19 11:26pm

I can't answer for all, and we haven't had a permanent procedure, but we are

TailgateU

7/18/19 12:18pm

I don't even think 2 kids and inconvenience is a different scenario. Perfectly valid reason.

TCuz

7/18/19 12:33pm

Not forbidden by the church. It's up to you and your wife.

WDaddy

7/18/19 11:29am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

IceBlueCoug

7/18/19 11:30am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

Mikey

7/18/19 11:30am

Assume dad is 40 and mom is 35ish. They are done having kids. A vs is the least difficult way to get permanent birth

HarlemCoug

7/18/19 11:31am

or Mother is > 40 and "high risk" several late term miscarriages,each causing

byu1

7/18/19 11:34am

Some on CB: "That will just be a faith building experience for the couple"

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:36am

yep, if it don't kill ya, it'll make ya stronger

byu1

7/18/19 12:08pm

Link to this type of response on CB?

BYUtka

7/18/19 1:01pm

because i don't think the or any church should have a say in that sort of thing

BlueFrog

7/18/19 11:31am

aren't using other forms of birth control doing the exact same thing?

byu1

7/18/19 11:31am

I think that's why people do it. Once you decide that birth control is up to the

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:32am

It's easy to stop using birth control if you choose.

Great38

7/18/19 11:39am

Sure. But to be real, dudes don't want to father children after a certain age

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:42am

Unless...things change. Maybe your wife dies and you marry a single lady wanting

runnincoug

7/18/19 10:40pm

Or maybe his wife gets pregnant again and murders him.

TheWanderer

7/18/19 10:42pm

Not hypothetically. And you can reverse vasectomies.

jkccoug

7/19/19 9:30am

That's why you pray in advance.

jkccoug

7/19/19 9:30am

If I've been snipped, my wife dies, and a new wife wants kids....

TheWanderer

7/19/19 9:39am

If she really wants kids maybe she won't be his new wife

Northwest Cougar

7/19/19 10:03am

That's one of my reasons I thought about it

Kral

7/18/19 12:01pm

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

mightybrick

7/18/19 11:33am

My wife and I have 5 kids

JKLCoug

7/18/19 11:33am

Don't talk to your Bishop. He doesn't care.

WDaddy

7/18/19 11:35am

Agreed, grownups can make grown up decisions

JOPE

7/18/19 11:38am

I totally agree

JKLCoug

7/18/19 11:40am

Yeah it feels like a weird holdover from the Saturday's Warrior era.

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:58am

This. Please don't waste his time just so he can tell you to pray about it and

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:57am

See my post above

JKLCoug

7/18/19 12:15pm

I have 5 kids too, but the earth doesn’t really need repopulation. Just sayin’.

chilango

7/18/19 12:39pm

Depends on who's doing the repopulating...

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:45pm

Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other popular method is like enjoying a popsicle

Slim

7/18/19 11:35am

RE: Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other

azmbacougar

7/18/19 12:41pm

RE: Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other

CougBlu

7/18/19 12:44pm

RE: Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:53pm

This may be one of the greatest posts on CB, right next to life size LaVell

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:53pm

Agreed. Literal LOL after reading it.

Lalau

7/18/19 1:33pm

Well....ahem....Slim....

pink22

7/18/19 1:24pm

<< Deleted >>

cougstyle

7/18/19 1:56pm

Testify!

KingDave

7/18/19 2:02pm

The “sock” allows for all the pleasure, but no clean up

Sexytaxman

7/18/19 11:41pm

Well that’s just not true

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/19/19 7:55am

Oh, you meant with a woman?

Sexytaxman

7/20/19 9:48pm

Name checks out

LifelongAP

7/19/19 3:05pm

I don't get it either. It's so much easier to just not have sex.

DKN

7/18/19 11:35am

Plus, it will help the climate if you don't

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

7/18/19 11:38am

i read climate as climax...

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 2:27pm

RE: i read climate as climax...

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 4:48pm

The reason I would do it is because I don’t want anymore kids

JOPE

7/18/19 11:35am

Seer stones to "clipped stones". A day on CB is always fascinating.

7/18/19 11:35am

kind of like asking, "did you only plan on having 2 kids?", love these questions

byu1

7/18/19 11:40am

My wife and I waited 6 years to become parents...it became nightmarish

Punk Philosopher

7/18/19 11:59am

we have 5 years between my 1st and 2nd, people would always ask, "when are you

byu1

7/18/19 12:11pm

Ugh....I don’t understand why questions like these are acceptable

Punk Philosopher

7/18/19 12:27pm

Lol. She tricked you into a second? Doesn't sound like you guys are on the same

vegasnative

7/18/19 12:16pm

Yeah. And......yeah.

Punk Philosopher

7/18/19 12:22pm

The truly faithful ensure that the first few kids are on the government's dime.

7/18/19 11:29pm

Once again, not trying to shame, just understand perspective

Kral

7/18/19 12:11pm

People say that? I'm dumbfounded.

Mitty

7/18/19 4:46pm

So sorry for you and your wife. I’ve also suffered through miscarriages and

redwood

7/18/19 7:20pm

I can't help. My wife took care of it on her part. I may want a kid later.

JAGA97

7/18/19 11:41am

btw, our Bishop (at the time) now Stake Pres, offered one up at ward auction

byu1

7/18/19 11:42am

As in, "Hey Brother byu1, you wanna get snipped? Let's go to the kitchen"?

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:45am

It isn't so much about a vasectomy being "evil" or wrong, but having any permanent procedure done that can affect

7/18/19 11:43am

Add this to a long lst of reasons why I never want to be a bishop. I would hate

Murray

7/18/19 1:03pm

<< Deleted >>

BYUtka

7/18/19 1:15pm

Just doing what we felt the Church was counseling us to do. We didn't make a separate appointment and waste his time.

7/18/19 7:31pm

It seems like the "measure twice snip once" rule applies here.

Great38

7/18/19 11:45am

I did it. I considered the church's stance momentarily and then did

7/18/19 11:52am

I wouldn't take into account the handbook stuff. If you're done having children,

diluigifan

7/18/19 11:57am

I've said it before regarding vasectomies:

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:59am

Fallen Bishop - Board name idea

WDaddy

7/18/19 12:12pm

For you? For me?

TheWanderer

7/18/19 12:39pm

Free fall? Are you going comando!?

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:55pm

Why did they ever take that position?

RC Vikings

7/18/19 12:04pm

I think it was a backlash against certain cultural movements

jkccoug

7/18/19 12:08pm

There used to be (maybe still is) a very widespread teaching that

7/18/19 1:06pm

I guess it's still a teaching but maybe not emphasized as much.

7/18/19 1:40pm

Thanks all for the thoughtful comments...and inevitable jokes/gifs

Kral

7/18/19 12:17pm

I'm shocked that it's still in the Handbook at all

A_blue_car

7/18/19 12:56pm

Totally agree.

diluigifan

7/18/19 1:59pm

<< Deleted >>

Von Cougarschnauzer

7/18/19 1:19pm

Just got it done last week. Not as bad as I thought it would be.

cougstyle

7/18/19 1:58pm

I am of personal belief that man should when possible be responsible for birth

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 2:37pm

Safer and easier for me to have a vasectomy than for my wife to have

Bradleyd16

7/19/19 10:13am

I did it because, after we thought we were done, the "best" non-permanent method

7/18/19 5:35pm

Riskier for the women, and she went through IUD placement.

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 8:29pm

I already have too many kids. Easy decision for us.

7/18/19 10:32pm

I understand why guys do it. I looked into it and not for me.

runnincoug

7/18/19 10:53pm

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