we have 5 years between my 1st and 2nd, people would always ask, "when are you

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Jul 18, 2019
12:11:22pm

byu1 All-American

planning to have any more kids?" Little did they know, we were trying. Miscarriages got in the way. Fun times.

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byu1

Bio page: byu1
Joined: Mar 1, 2001
Last login: Apr 23, 2024
Total posts: 32,845 (407 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

Kral

7/18/19 11:24am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:25am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

flavordave

7/18/19 11:27am

it is "strongly discouraged"?

byu1

7/18/19 11:28am

In Handbook 1 for leaders, yes. But that position given to Church leaders

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:29am

A friend of mine asked his bishop because the handbook says to do that

buffgato

7/18/19 11:33am

Yeah at this point that portion of the handbook is almost quaint. I bet 50% of

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:38am

I'd take that bet. 50% seems high.

John Doe

7/18/19 12:31pm

what would you peg it at? just out of curiosity.

jkccoug

7/18/19 2:05pm

Considering only ~10% of men in America have done it

Ned Schneebly

7/18/19 2:28pm

Well you have to break it down by age category. Bishops are overwhelmingly 40+

jkccoug

7/18/19 2:42pm

Fair enough. I'm sure the majority of men who've done the procedure

Ned Schneebly

7/18/19 3:10pm

Yeah I tried to look it up too. Surprisingly little data.

jkccoug

7/18/19 3:18pm

page 76 and 77 of this CDC study

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 3:38pm

I first went to page 66. I feel bad for those guys in the 3rd column...

Ned Schneebly

7/18/19 4:50pm

Thanks! So roughly 27-28% for the age/marital status

jkccoug

7/18/19 5:04pm

Demographics play a huge role. If you have one, and tell your friends how

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 5:09pm

What % of men will end up having a vasectomy? What age group are those 10% in?

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 2:49pm

Pretty sure it is in Handbook 2 also.

AggieWeekendCougar

7/18/19 11:39am

You're right! Has that been in there a long time? I don't recall seeing it

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:41am

Yes.

BYUtka

7/18/19 12:44pm

It’s very much a case by case thing

buffgato

7/18/19 11:28am

How many kids does one have before a vasectomy is "ok" in your opinion?

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:37am

Up to you. I’m just giving contrasting examples

buffgato

7/18/19 11:39am

Contrasting examples that essentially pivoted on # of children.

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:42am

I think you missed most of what I said

buffgato

7/18/19 11:47am

Okay, I'll accept that. I can see that reading of it.

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:47am

My parents had 3 kids, my bro 4, me 5, my sis 2. My sister is inactive in the church. What if my sister had 3 kids, huh?

sevenIDcougs

7/18/19 11:26pm

I can't answer for all, and we haven't had a permanent procedure, but we are

TailgateU

7/18/19 12:18pm

I don't even think 2 kids and inconvenience is a different scenario. Perfectly valid reason.

TCuz

7/18/19 12:33pm

Not forbidden by the church. It's up to you and your wife.

WDaddy

7/18/19 11:29am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

IceBlueCoug

7/18/19 11:30am

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

Mikey

7/18/19 11:30am

Assume dad is 40 and mom is 35ish. They are done having kids. A vs is the least difficult way to get permanent birth

HarlemCoug

7/18/19 11:31am

or Mother is > 40 and "high risk" several late term miscarriages,each causing

byu1

7/18/19 11:34am

Some on CB: "That will just be a faith building experience for the couple"

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:36am

yep, if it don't kill ya, it'll make ya stronger

byu1

7/18/19 12:08pm

Link to this type of response on CB?

BYUtka

7/18/19 1:01pm

because i don't think the or any church should have a say in that sort of thing

BlueFrog

7/18/19 11:31am

aren't using other forms of birth control doing the exact same thing?

byu1

7/18/19 11:31am

I think that's why people do it. Once you decide that birth control is up to the

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:32am

It's easy to stop using birth control if you choose.

Great38

7/18/19 11:39am

Sure. But to be real, dudes don't want to father children after a certain age

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:42am

Unless...things change. Maybe your wife dies and you marry a single lady wanting

runnincoug

7/18/19 10:40pm

Or maybe his wife gets pregnant again and murders him.

TheWanderer

7/18/19 10:42pm

Not hypothetically. And you can reverse vasectomies.

jkccoug

7/19/19 9:30am

That's why you pray in advance.

jkccoug

7/19/19 9:30am

If I've been snipped, my wife dies, and a new wife wants kids....

TheWanderer

7/19/19 9:39am

If she really wants kids maybe she won't be his new wife

Northwest Cougar

7/19/19 10:03am

That's one of my reasons I thought about it

Kral

7/18/19 12:01pm

RE: I'd like to understand the pro vasectomy position on CB

mightybrick

7/18/19 11:33am

My wife and I have 5 kids

JKLCoug

7/18/19 11:33am

Don't talk to your Bishop. He doesn't care.

WDaddy

7/18/19 11:35am

Agreed, grownups can make grown up decisions

JOPE

7/18/19 11:38am

I totally agree

JKLCoug

7/18/19 11:40am

Yeah it feels like a weird holdover from the Saturday's Warrior era.

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:58am

This. Please don't waste his time just so he can tell you to pray about it and

jkccoug

7/18/19 11:57am

See my post above

JKLCoug

7/18/19 12:15pm

I have 5 kids too, but the earth doesn’t really need repopulation. Just sayin’.

chilango

7/18/19 12:39pm

Depends on who's doing the repopulating...

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:45pm

Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other popular method is like enjoying a popsicle

Slim

7/18/19 11:35am

RE: Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other

azmbacougar

7/18/19 12:41pm

RE: Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other

CougBlu

7/18/19 12:44pm

RE: Um... Because birth control turns my wife into a crazy person and the other

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:53pm

This may be one of the greatest posts on CB, right next to life size LaVell

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:53pm

Agreed. Literal LOL after reading it.

Lalau

7/18/19 1:33pm

Well....ahem....Slim....

pink22

7/18/19 1:24pm

<< Deleted >>

cougstyle

7/18/19 1:56pm

Testify!

KingDave

7/18/19 2:02pm

The “sock” allows for all the pleasure, but no clean up

Sexytaxman

7/18/19 11:41pm

Well that’s just not true

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/19/19 7:55am

Oh, you meant with a woman?

Sexytaxman

7/20/19 9:48pm

Name checks out

LifelongAP

7/19/19 3:05pm

I don't get it either. It's so much easier to just not have sex.

DKN

7/18/19 11:35am

Plus, it will help the climate if you don't

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

7/18/19 11:38am

i read climate as climax...

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 2:27pm

RE: i read climate as climax...

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 4:48pm

The reason I would do it is because I don’t want anymore kids

JOPE

7/18/19 11:35am

Seer stones to "clipped stones". A day on CB is always fascinating.

Troy McClure

7/18/19 11:35am

kind of like asking, "did you only plan on having 2 kids?", love these questions

byu1

7/18/19 11:40am

My wife and I waited 6 years to become parents...it became nightmarish

Punk Philosopher

7/18/19 11:59am

we have 5 years between my 1st and 2nd, people would always ask, "when are you

byu1

7/18/19 12:11pm

Ugh....I don’t understand why questions like these are acceptable

Punk Philosopher

7/18/19 12:27pm

Lol. She tricked you into a second? Doesn't sound like you guys are on the same

vegasnative

7/18/19 12:16pm

Yeah. And......yeah.

Punk Philosopher

7/18/19 12:22pm

The truly faithful ensure that the first few kids are on the government's dime.

dYrtbYkerYder

7/18/19 11:29pm

Once again, not trying to shame, just understand perspective

Kral

7/18/19 12:11pm

People say that? I'm dumbfounded.

Mitty

7/18/19 4:46pm

So sorry for you and your wife. I’ve also suffered through miscarriages and

redwood

7/18/19 7:20pm

I can't help. My wife took care of it on her part. I may want a kid later.

JAGA97

7/18/19 11:41am

btw, our Bishop (at the time) now Stake Pres, offered one up at ward auction

byu1

7/18/19 11:42am

As in, "Hey Brother byu1, you wanna get snipped? Let's go to the kitchen"?

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:45am

It isn't so much about a vasectomy being "evil" or wrong, but having any permanent procedure done that can affect

TheLoneCougar

7/18/19 11:43am

Add this to a long lst of reasons why I never want to be a bishop. I would hate

Murray

7/18/19 1:03pm

<< Deleted >>

BYUtka

7/18/19 1:15pm

Just doing what we felt the Church was counseling us to do. We didn't make a separate appointment and waste his time.

TheLoneCougar

7/18/19 7:31pm

It seems like the "measure twice snip once" rule applies here.

Great38

7/18/19 11:45am

I did it. I considered the church's stance momentarily and then did

Troy McClure

7/18/19 11:52am

I wouldn't take into account the handbook stuff. If you're done having children,

diluigifan

7/18/19 11:57am

I've said it before regarding vasectomies:

TheWanderer

7/18/19 11:59am

Fallen Bishop - Board name idea

WDaddy

7/18/19 12:12pm

For you? For me?

TheWanderer

7/18/19 12:39pm

Free fall? Are you going comando!?

Iki_Balam

7/18/19 12:55pm

Why did they ever take that position?

RC Vikings

7/18/19 12:04pm

I think it was a backlash against certain cultural movements

jkccoug

7/18/19 12:08pm

There used to be (maybe still is) a very widespread teaching that

Troy McClure

7/18/19 1:06pm

I guess it's still a teaching but maybe not emphasized as much.

Troy McClure

7/18/19 1:40pm

Thanks all for the thoughtful comments...and inevitable jokes/gifs

Kral

7/18/19 12:17pm

I'm shocked that it's still in the Handbook at all

A_blue_car

7/18/19 12:56pm

Totally agree.

diluigifan

7/18/19 1:59pm

<< Deleted >>

Von Cougarschnauzer

7/18/19 1:19pm

Just got it done last week. Not as bad as I thought it would be.

cougstyle

7/18/19 1:58pm

I am of personal belief that man should when possible be responsible for birth

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 2:37pm

Safer and easier for me to have a vasectomy than for my wife to have

Bradleyd16

7/19/19 10:13am

I did it because, after we thought we were done, the "best" non-permanent method

LeftOfNormal

7/18/19 5:35pm

Riskier for the women, and she went through IUD placement.

Powerbait DPM studnt

7/18/19 8:29pm

I already have too many kids. Easy decision for us.

BostonCougar

7/18/19 10:32pm

I understand why guys do it. I looked into it and not for me.

runnincoug

7/18/19 10:53pm

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