A parent's most important calling/responsibility in life is to teach/advise imo, not to restrict/protect.

Feb 24, 2021
11:42:38am

CSoul Truly Addicted User

While there is some aspect of protection, as they get older it is less and less, but most parents I see continue to view their primary role as a protector. The world is too savage for that to be the right direction in their teen years.

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CSoul

Previous username: tsm26
Bio page: CSoul
Joined: Nov 20, 2005
Last login: Apr 30, 2024
Total posts: 66,611 (13,843 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

My wife and I have decided NO smartphones for our kids when they become teens

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:19am

Like no phone at 13? 17 as well?

LiveCoug

2/24/21 11:20am

We'll get them Gabb phones or something similar to it.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:24am

I thought the same thing

Remigius

2/24/21 11:21am

I think most have

Covid-19

2/24/21 11:22am

I know a few people who have decided this. From what I have seen lately its a good decision.

John Doe

2/24/21 11:21am

Easy to say now but it will be much harder when they can't communicate with

mudpupper

2/24/21 11:21am

If their friends have those apps, they have sms texting too.

Schultz is back

2/24/21 11:22am

But that isn't how they communicate. It's all through the apps in many cases

mudpupper

2/24/21 11:24am

Yes and they won’t use it

Blue2thebone

2/25/21 12:57am

Including YM/YW

BeyondTheMark

2/24/21 11:25am

Even church stuff--it's all on Circles, at least in our ward.

fredgarvin

2/24/21 11:25am

The Living App is available on tablets and other devices.

John Doe

2/24/21 11:26am

Right, but if you're not letting your kid have a smart phone because of the

fredgarvin

2/24/21 11:28am

Texting is part of the problem too, especially with girls. They can be ruthless to each other.

John Doe

2/24/21 11:31am

Gabb phones are fine. Don't give kids a phone, or any device, that have

byusage

2/24/21 11:21am

Great idea. We use Gabb phones so they can text and call, but no browser

Dangerous

2/24/21 11:26am

so what age then?

Cougarclaw

2/24/21 11:22am

You should parent however you feel is best

Gibbcoug

2/24/21 11:23am

For sure.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:26am

So your issue is money?

Future_Tacos

2/25/21 5:22pm

The amount of grief you will catch over this will likely pale in comparison to

BR549

2/24/21 11:24am

Without question, if we had to do it again, this would be the route.

boogers

2/24/21 3:45pm

We use gabb phones and are very happy.

Alister Mackenzie

2/24/21 11:25am

Our oldest is 12. He has a Gizmo watch. It was working great, but now every one

BerkeleyCoug

2/24/21 11:26am

You should ask yourself and your wife this question. Would you rather your son access porn at home

CSoul

2/24/21 11:37am

On the flip side, young teens (10-14), that access porn early may not talk about

byusage

2/24/21 11:48am

That's why monitoring is so important. But the idea that boys who had no access in teens don't

CSoul

2/24/21 11:55am

I agree. I have worked with a lot of people with the situation

byusage

2/24/21 11:59am

RE: That's why monitoring is so important. But the idea that boys who had no

Bin01015

2/24/21 12:51pm

It was in the 90s and they had no Internet. But yes, there was an underlying issue

CSoul

2/24/21 5:20pm

Teaching kids how to properly use technology is a good parenting idea.

SpiffCoug

2/24/21 11:26am

My oldest is 12 and hasn't even asked for a phone yet. I'm in no hurry and will

WhirleyPop

2/24/21 11:27am

Our boys have them, we just limit the apps they can get. We like some of the features of the smartphone.

Turnpike Lane

2/24/21 11:27am

If they don’t have access to apps and they aren’t complaining

Bin01015

2/24/21 12:53pm

You get the kids with the hidden burner phones. Much more challenging to deal with.

Zedhead

2/24/21 11:28am

My younger brother did this when he was 16

BYUStudentCoug

2/24/21 11:45am

I see this post quite often on CB. I thought it must be common parenting these days

TCuz

2/24/21 11:28am

The majority of teens def have smartphones

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:49am

I hope it works out for you. We waited until they were 15,

Hops

2/24/21 11:29am

I hear ya. I'm sure we'll adjust as we feel is right.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:30am

Yeh, I know those parents too. I also know how most of their kids have phones their friends

CSoul

2/24/21 11:32am

Good insight and thoughtful advice. Thanks.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:34am

We have friends that don't give their kids phones until pretty late. Just told us that they found their

CSoul

2/24/21 11:40am

I have felt a responsibility to teach the proper use of technology inclusive of phones to my kids

Remigius

2/24/21 11:39am

A parent's most important calling/responsibility in life is to teach/advise imo, not to restrict/protect.

CSoul

2/24/21 11:42am

I think the under 15-16 year olds need time to be taught to have an internal

byusage

2/24/21 11:58am

This is how I feel about it too. You can try to teach a 12 year old but their

O Gaucho

2/24/21 3:42pm

Really the only good decision to make right now. We did the same and haven't

O Gaucho

2/24/21 11:33am

We're going to get our kids HAM radios. Very useful in an emergency, they can

DB Cooper

2/24/21 11:45am

Watch out for the HAM predators!

Parkercoug82

2/24/21 11:47am

RE: Watch out for the HAM predators!

DB Cooper

2/24/21 11:49am

It will be harder than you think. No one does email anymore.

HuskerFan2

2/24/21 11:48am

I like Gabb for kids up until they start driving

BYUStudentCoug

2/24/21 11:49am

You're very wise.

A_blue_car

2/24/21 11:50am

We get smartphones but NO SOCIAL MEDIA APPS. That's worked really well for us.

CObluezone

2/24/21 11:52am

Good luck with that.

idcougarfan

2/24/21 11:59am

It is tough. I absolutely understand what you are doing.

Carnac

2/24/21 12:03pm

The sad reality is that most if not all LDS girls and boys will be exposed

BYUStudentCoug

2/24/21 12:04pm

Of course, but there is a huge difference between seeing it from time to time and being able to access it easily and

vegasnative

2/24/21 1:09pm

Google Fi with MM Guardian...it is a Gabb phone that allows you to install LDS

doctorcoug

2/24/21 12:04pm

You can obviously do what you want, but we give our kids phones at 12. IMO the teen years are when they learn to

Odysseus

2/24/21 12:17pm

The issue is that teens can do stupid things that will haunt them forever, like sext, post nudes online, make dumb jokes

vegasnative

2/24/21 1:12pm

It's not an either or proposition. You slowly give kids more and more freedom of choice.

CSoul

2/24/21 5:23pm

This is always a tough one to decide upon when and how

Isleofavalon

2/24/21 12:24pm

I cried several times last week after I went through

Cobra Venom

2/24/21 12:47pm

We waited until our kids were freshman to get them a phone.

Bin01015

2/24/21 1:05pm

They only need calls and texting. They'll cry bc they can't have Instagram

BYU Grounds

2/24/21 1:12pm

I have 8 kids oldest 19 on his mission, 4 teenagers right now and no smartphones

gilmerbuckeye

2/24/21 2:29pm

Going from complete restriction to no restriction is worse. I believe parents

Powerbait DPM

2/24/21 3:17pm

Thup for your last sentence. My oldest will be 9 soon. He's already asked

Schultz is back

2/24/21 4:09pm

I support your desire and intentions. Hopefully the Gabb tech allows you to

StalwartBraveTrue

2/24/21 4:25pm

We didn’t allow ours phones till they graduated high school.

Boxey

2/24/21 5:04pm

Be a little generous. If you can afford it go for the gusto. I didn’t know it

Bullrider

2/24/21 7:03pm

The strictest parents always have the most crazy kids when they leave the nest.

Cosmo4life

2/24/21 8:48pm

that is not true at all. Yes, it happens sometimes

gilmerbuckeye

2/24/21 10:25pm

We have any old phone that works on wifi for $5 per month. We use it as a family

TailgateU

2/24/21 10:40pm

Smart move. Stick with it. They will still get access to almost everything but

Bee Chunder

2/25/21 9:25am

We have some friends who don't let their 13 year old have a phone

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