It is tough. I absolutely understand what you are doing.

Sign up, and you'll be able to ignore users whose posts you don't want to see. Sign up

Report problem with this ad

Feb 24, 2021
12:03:45pm

Carnac Intervention Needed

It is tough. I absolutely understand what you are doing.

I thought the same. Then I realized that without a phone, teenagers will be left out of a LOT of social planning and notifications.

As a YM leader, I found that the boys who didn't have phones were left out. Other boys couldn't get in touch and the parents were a disconnect--they'd forget to pass along messages, etc.

My take is that there is a proper balance that takes a lot of parent involvement and supervision, but that phones are an important part of positive social integration now.

Report problem with this ad

Carnac

Previous username: Carnac el Magnifico
Bio page: Carnac
Joined: Dec 22, 2007
Last login: Apr 30, 2024
Total posts: 43,510 (428 FO)

Report problem with this ad

Messages

Author

Time

My wife and I have decided NO smartphones for our kids when they become teens

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:19am

Like no phone at 13? 17 as well?

LiveCoug

2/24/21 11:20am

We'll get them Gabb phones or something similar to it.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:24am

I thought the same thing

Remigius

2/24/21 11:21am

I think most have

Covid-19

2/24/21 11:22am

I know a few people who have decided this. From what I have seen lately its a good decision.

John Doe

2/24/21 11:21am

Easy to say now but it will be much harder when they can't communicate with

mudpupper

2/24/21 11:21am

If their friends have those apps, they have sms texting too.

Schultz is back

2/24/21 11:22am

But that isn't how they communicate. It's all through the apps in many cases

mudpupper

2/24/21 11:24am

Yes and they won’t use it

Blue2thebone

2/25/21 12:57am

Including YM/YW

2/24/21 11:25am

Even church stuff--it's all on Circles, at least in our ward.

fredgarvin

2/24/21 11:25am

The Living App is available on tablets and other devices.

John Doe

2/24/21 11:26am

Right, but if you're not letting your kid have a smart phone because of the

fredgarvin

2/24/21 11:28am

Texting is part of the problem too, especially with girls. They can be ruthless to each other.

John Doe

2/24/21 11:31am

Gabb phones are fine. Don't give kids a phone, or any device, that have

byusage

2/24/21 11:21am

Great idea. We use Gabb phones so they can text and call, but no browser

Dangerous

2/24/21 11:26am

so what age then?

Cougarclaw

2/24/21 11:22am

You should parent however you feel is best

Gibbcoug

2/24/21 11:23am

For sure.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:26am

So your issue is money?

Future_Tacos

2/25/21 5:22pm

The amount of grief you will catch over this will likely pale in comparison to

BR549

2/24/21 11:24am

Without question, if we had to do it again, this would be the route.

boogers

2/24/21 3:45pm

We use gabb phones and are very happy.

Alister Mackenzie

2/24/21 11:25am

Our oldest is 12. He has a Gizmo watch. It was working great, but now every one

2/24/21 11:26am

You should ask yourself and your wife this question. Would you rather your son access porn at home

CSoul

2/24/21 11:37am

On the flip side, young teens (10-14), that access porn early may not talk about

byusage

2/24/21 11:48am

That's why monitoring is so important. But the idea that boys who had no access in teens don't

CSoul

2/24/21 11:55am

I agree. I have worked with a lot of people with the situation

byusage

2/24/21 11:59am

RE: That's why monitoring is so important. But the idea that boys who had no

Bin01015

2/24/21 12:51pm

It was in the 90s and they had no Internet. But yes, there was an underlying issue

CSoul

2/24/21 5:20pm

Teaching kids how to properly use technology is a good parenting idea.

SpiffCoug

2/24/21 11:26am

My oldest is 12 and hasn't even asked for a phone yet. I'm in no hurry and will

WhirleyPop

2/24/21 11:27am

Our boys have them, we just limit the apps they can get. We like some of the features of the smartphone.

2/24/21 11:27am

If they don’t have access to apps and they aren’t complaining

Bin01015

2/24/21 12:53pm

You get the kids with the hidden burner phones. Much more challenging to deal with.

Zedhead

2/24/21 11:28am

My younger brother did this when he was 16

2/24/21 11:45am

I see this post quite often on CB. I thought it must be common parenting these days

TCuz

2/24/21 11:28am

The majority of teens def have smartphones

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:49am

I hope it works out for you. We waited until they were 15,

Hops

2/24/21 11:29am

I hear ya. I'm sure we'll adjust as we feel is right.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:30am

Yeh, I know those parents too. I also know how most of their kids have phones their friends

CSoul

2/24/21 11:32am

Good insight and thoughtful advice. Thanks.

RockyBalboa

2/24/21 11:34am

We have friends that don't give their kids phones until pretty late. Just told us that they found their

CSoul

2/24/21 11:40am

I have felt a responsibility to teach the proper use of technology inclusive of phones to my kids

Remigius

2/24/21 11:39am

A parent's most important calling/responsibility in life is to teach/advise imo, not to restrict/protect.

CSoul

2/24/21 11:42am

I think the under 15-16 year olds need time to be taught to have an internal

byusage

2/24/21 11:58am

This is how I feel about it too. You can try to teach a 12 year old but their

O Gaucho

2/24/21 3:42pm

Really the only good decision to make right now. We did the same and haven't

O Gaucho

2/24/21 11:33am

We're going to get our kids HAM radios. Very useful in an emergency, they can

DB Cooper

2/24/21 11:45am

Watch out for the HAM predators!

Parkercoug82

2/24/21 11:47am

RE: Watch out for the HAM predators!

DB Cooper

2/24/21 11:49am

It will be harder than you think. No one does email anymore.

HuskerFan2

2/24/21 11:48am

I like Gabb for kids up until they start driving

2/24/21 11:49am

You're very wise.

A_blue_car

2/24/21 11:50am

We get smartphones but NO SOCIAL MEDIA APPS. That's worked really well for us.

CObluezone

2/24/21 11:52am

Good luck with that.

idcougarfan

2/24/21 11:59am

It is tough. I absolutely understand what you are doing.

Carnac

2/24/21 12:03pm

The sad reality is that most if not all LDS girls and boys will be exposed

2/24/21 12:04pm

Of course, but there is a huge difference between seeing it from time to time and being able to access it easily and

vegasnative

2/24/21 1:09pm

Google Fi with MM Guardian...it is a Gabb phone that allows you to install LDS

doctorcoug

2/24/21 12:04pm

You can obviously do what you want, but we give our kids phones at 12. IMO the teen years are when they learn to

Odysseus

2/24/21 12:17pm

The issue is that teens can do stupid things that will haunt them forever, like sext, post nudes online, make dumb jokes

vegasnative

2/24/21 1:12pm

It's not an either or proposition. You slowly give kids more and more freedom of choice.

CSoul

2/24/21 5:23pm

This is always a tough one to decide upon when and how

Isleofavalon

2/24/21 12:24pm

I cried several times last week after I went through

Cobra Venom

2/24/21 12:47pm

We waited until our kids were freshman to get them a phone.

Bin01015

2/24/21 1:05pm

They only need calls and texting. They'll cry bc they can't have Instagram

BYU Grounds

2/24/21 1:12pm

I have 8 kids oldest 19 on his mission, 4 teenagers right now and no smartphones

gilmerbuckeye

2/24/21 2:29pm

Going from complete restriction to no restriction is worse. I believe parents

Powerbait DPM

2/24/21 3:17pm

Thup for your last sentence. My oldest will be 9 soon. He's already asked

Schultz is back

2/24/21 4:09pm

I support your desire and intentions. Hopefully the Gabb tech allows you to

StalwartBraveTrue

2/24/21 4:25pm

We didn’t allow ours phones till they graduated high school.

Boxey

2/24/21 5:04pm

Be a little generous. If you can afford it go for the gusto. I didn’t know it

Bullrider

2/24/21 7:03pm

The strictest parents always have the most crazy kids when they leave the nest.

Cosmo4life

2/24/21 8:48pm

that is not true at all. Yes, it happens sometimes

gilmerbuckeye

2/24/21 10:25pm

We have any old phone that works on wifi for $5 per month. We use it as a family

TailgateU

2/24/21 10:40pm

Smart move. Stick with it. They will still get access to almost everything but

Bee Chunder

2/25/21 9:25am

We have some friends who don't let their 13 year old have a phone

Medute

2/25/21 4:46pm

Report problem with this ad

Posting on CougarBoard

In order to post, you will need to either sign up or log in.

Report problem with this ad