I recently read a transcript of Michael Otterson's (managing director of Public Affairs) address at a UVU conference. (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/transcript-michael-otterson-uvu-academic-conference) I found it insightful and honest. It's a long read, but worth it. Among the most impactful thoughts is:

"The theme of this two-day conference is described as the “art” of boundary maintenance. That is an apt choice of words, because carefully drawing boundaries more often resembles art than science. And if it’s an art, who are the artists?

All of us are artists to some degree. Through the lives we lead, the contributions we make, and the service we give to others, we all get to contribute a brush stroke. But in the end there has to be a master artist, someone who sees the grand vision of what our Father in Heaven plans for the eternal destiny of His children. By divine appointment, prophets, ancient and modern, have had that charge. The New Testament Apostles used other metaphors, including one of a building, “fitly framed together,” Jesus Christ being the chief cornerstone.

The point is that there is a cornerstone. There are boundaries, both of behavior and of doctrine. There are commandments. There is obedience. Believing this as I do doesn’t rob me of my agency or of my opinions. Rather it compels me constantly to evaluate my own behavior against that standard, knowing that ultimately I will be accountable to God for where I draw those boundaries for myself."

Setting the boundaries on things like this can't be seen with a lens of black and white.