Years ago - when I was at BYU - Elder Packer gave a devotional address. He said that too many people at BYU would not consider dating a person who "smoked and drank a little" but didn't think that a little heavy petting was a problem. He said that compared to moral sins, smoking and drinking are hardly sins at all. They are still sins, just not really big ones.

I said somewhere on this board today that a recovering alcoholic who fell off the wagon for a day would probably not lose their temple recommend. That's not to excuse falling off the wagon - it's just to put some perspective on things.

So while I think things are in fact black and white - not all sins are created equally. The Lord can't look on sin with the least degree of allowance - but the Atonement and our repentance meets the demands of justice. For some sins, face to face repentance with the Bishop is required. Other sins just require you to try and do better next time. But without the Atonement any sin - no matter how small - will keep us out of Heaven.

In time I think you will find great personal satisfaction when you kick the occasional coffee and alcohol habits altogether. I have plenty of family members who let coffee, alcohol and tobacco keep them from going to church. Church is a place where imperfect people go to become better people. It's like not going to the temple because you forgot your tie. Satan would say "Don't go to the temple unless you have a tie on". The Lord would say "Wear a tie to the temple - but if you forgot it, go anyway". Satan often says things similar to what the Lord says, but he changes the meaning slightly. His wording keeps you from going to Church or the Temple. The Lords wording encourages you to go and learn to be a better person.

But after all that rambling - if a persons Bishop feels that someones sins are sufficient that they should leave BYU - then the Bishop has a responsibility to report them to BYU.