When you have the experience of multiple schools vying for your services and you see how each goes about doing it then it is easier to understand.
I agree that there are sour grapes at times, it seems to especially the case involving BYU because of how people feel about BYU, but people like the Ritchie’s and Gentry’s would have no reason to feel sour grapes toward BYU, half the pac 12 and big 12 are after their sons. They’ve got all the choices they could possibly want. Those kids can go almost anywhere, even schools that haven’t offered them, they could call them up and tell them they’re interested in their school and get an automatic offer.
These are different level recruits.