But very few gatekeepers (i.e. coaches) at any school are any good at managing the kids on the fringes, as they see it. And BYU might be worse than average at it, generally. I think your story is more typical than not.
It's really hard for "BYU families" to embrace other fish in the sea. But, c'est la vie. Getting any number of D1 offers is a pretty awesome thing. Hopefully the lackluster BYU experience doesn't take any joy out of it, and your daughter is able to make them wish they'd treated her differently.